Over-the-top Foodie Gifts

Pizza with Extra Extra Cheese.

Domestic Goddess.

'It's the chef's special. His wife just had a baby.'

Self Service Restaurant: 'Where do you keep the eggs?'

'Now that's what I call a kebab... a skewer with whole pies!'

'He doesn't ask for a menu... he asks for an estimate!'

'No, I'm not the sommelier; in fact, I don't even work here - I've just always wanted to try this wine.'

Important Food Groups

Kitchen Kapers

"Keep your glasses on. It will look like twice as much."

Benihana style of cooking.

The Streets - Night

"Spoiler alert! If you read the specials, you'll find out the Chef's Surprise!"

'Actually I'm a nerdivore. I only eat your lamer plants and animals: duckbill platypi, cumquats, daffodils, the occasional mudshark.'

Burnt or Raw?

'So it's the Mumm's Cordon Rouge, '98 Pouilly-Fuisse, '86 Chateau Margaux, and the '92 Barsac - would you like any food?'

'You want to eat out tonight? -- What if we get addicted to good food?'

"We add an eighteen percent gratuity for parties of six or more."

"As you can guess, Rico is my role model."

North Fork, the town too tough to diet.

"...And would sir care to kill the rabbit himself?"

Al Dante

'Mom, the donut is drinking my milk!'

"Can you reinvent the classic grilled cheese for me?"

Will work for Food Network.

'What wine goes with enormous expense account?.'

'Therapy?'

"Smoked salmon, sir?" "I prefer to eat it, thanks."

"Waiter, can you find out if this hair in my arugula salad is locally harvested?"

'Tasty bird.'

"How did I find my lamb chop? Well, I lifted up a roast potato and there it was."

"More croutons, sir?"

Chef's Specials - Hissy Fits, Shouting and Swearing, Pompus Indigestion.

'Would you like that organic, locally grown, carbon neutral, fair trade, trans fat-free, sugar-free, gluten-free and peanut-free?'