Unapologetic Foodie Gifts

'Whatever fast food - fried stuff, fat, sugar, salt for the 'Doesn't Bother Me' person'.

"I'm one of those fortunate people that can ear what they like."

"Cream coloured ponies, crisp apple strudels, doorbells and sleighbells, schnitzel with noodles. . ."

'I couldn't stand the heat, so I got out of the kitchen.'

"I thought we agreed you weren't going to work at home."

'We don't 'skimp' on the pour, sir; we're just generous with the glass.'

"Which wine would you pair with the complimentary bread and butter?"

Periodic table for two. Chez LMN't

"Have you decided on what you'd like to have?"

'Do you want your zebra de la margola rare, medium or well done?'

"Waiter, there's a hare in my salad!"

Enjoying a picnic at the rugby ground

'In case of fire, don't panic, pay your bill then run like hell.'

'George, you're supposed to be tasting the wine, not seeing what effect it has.'

"You grab the food—I'll grab the wine."

"Yes, he is a celebrity chef, but he doesn't have any opinions on Iraq."

"....and hold the garlic."

Man Trying to Uncork Champagne.

"Geoffrey's seasonal. I'm regional."

Avocado Timeline

Pizza with Extra Extra Cheese.

'The second day of my diet is the easiest. By then, I'm off my diet.'

"Would madam like to sniff the resealable cap?"

'Therapy?'

"He'd like the broiled monkfish, too, but first he's having a quick taste of the gutter."

Waiter does not want to see customer make bubbles in his wine.

'However hard I try to lose weight, it always finds me again.'

"Ah — excellent catsup."

Three people view wine price 3 ways.

How do I love thee? Let me count the ways … Open Mike Night Presents Sadie Cohen. I love thee to the depth and breadth and height my ladle can reach … When feeling hungry for the crunch of crouton and ideal lettuce. I love thee to the level of every day's most quiet need ... by cheesy bread and chicken wing. I love thee freely, as men strive for right. I eat of thee freely, and then, at four, 'tis goodnight. O Sizzler salad bar, how do I love thee? I'm hungry.

"This is a big wine. I recommend you order some big food."

Long Corkscrew

'What do you recommend?.' 'A big tip.'

Snow & Flo series: Wedding guests.

'We've been enjoying the ambiance for 20 minutes. Now we'd like to enjoy some service.'