Unapologetic Food Lovers Gifts

"You don't tip them you bribe them!"

'Your French dip, sir.'

Careful, the plate's probably still hot.

Heavy man sees 'Comfort Food' aisle

"I chose to stand up to special interest groups!"

"Hmmm ... you're right — I forgot the brie."

"We're odd looking but just as good."

Church Basement Foodie

"It was wonderful, Henri. Arnold had died and gone to heaven."

'Excuse me - are you organic?'

"They won't even try their palate cleansers!"

Victorian Fast Food - 'I'll have the lark pie festooned with eels, a full stilton, two bottles of port,,,'

Highlights From The Annual Central Park Country Fair

'Pepperoni: Muse of Pizza'

This Year's Spa

'Just for once, can't we have a picnic without your mates turning up to crawl all over the food?'

"The food here is excellent- what time is breakfast?"

'Shall we turn the extractor fan down a bit...?'

"That sister of yours sure has some nerve asking for those leftovers - we earned them."

Acme Foods. Research and Development. Then it's an "no" on the Mexican Jumping Bean Dip?

"Mom said never use that dirty 4-letter word on vacation...DIET."

A man and baby wearing bibs

"This might take awhile, Lord."

"I'm trying to gain 10 pounds before midnight so I can keep my resolution to lose 10 pounds next year."

'Needs more kale.'

"I only recommend the 24 oz. Prime rib for big fat guys."

'According to this, you ate all the pies.'

'My wife's on a diet. So far she's lost her personality.'

'The marvelous thing about a Singles cruise is, if you don't find an interesting man, you can drown your sorrows with interesting food.'

Sushi Train Spotters

Cook being told what to do by housemaid

I always forget - is it white with dry food and red with wet food, or the other way around?

How do I love thee? Let me count the ways … Open Mike Night Presents Sadie Cohen. I love thee to the depth and breadth and height my ladle can reach … When feeling hungry for the crunch of crouton and ideal lettuce. I love thee to the level of every day's most quiet need ... by cheesy bread and chicken wing. I love thee freely, as men strive for right. I eat of thee freely, and then, at four, 'tis goodnight. O Sizzler salad bar, how do I love thee? I'm hungry.

I am to blame.

'You'll love this, it has no nutritional value.'