Nonchalant Foodie Gifts

"I quit worrying. I've gone 100% non-non and completely free-free."

Counting ribs

"Yo, Cézanne, paint faster. I need those grapes for the Madeira sauce."

'It's the chef's special. His wife just had a baby.'

'Why, of course I remember our first date -- I had filet mignon, potatoes au gratin, sauteed....'

Self Service Restaurant: 'Where do you keep the eggs?'

'Now that's what I call a kebab... a skewer with whole pies!'

"I chose to stand up to special interest groups!"

Important Food Groups

'He doesn't ask for a menu... he asks for an estimate!'

"Hmmm ... you're right — I forgot the brie."

Benihana style of cooking.

'No, I'm not the sommelier; in fact, I don't even work here - I've just always wanted to try this wine.'

We are shaped by what we love! Especially pizza and doughnuts!

Gaston's Gourmet Truckstop

"I forgot to take a pic of the tacos."

Kitchen Kapers

'You realize we're only having three people over...'

The Coffee Shop Vats of New Jersey

"Tia Carmen's not happy unless she can send people away with a plate of leftovers for the road."

Party time.

The Streets - Night

Would you be willing to sign something regarding the fat content of your burger? Like what? My colon.

Burnt or Raw?

"Spoiler alert! If you read the specials, you'll find out the Chef's Surprise!"

CAUTION: Creative genius at work

"What time did you say you wanted me to start drinking?"

"We've misjudged the tapas again."

"We add an eighteen percent gratuity for parties of six or more."

"Nice try, Mom, but I'm going to go with a caterer."

"Your meal sounded nice."

'You want to eat out tonight? -- What if we get addicted to good food?'

You're the sizzle in my roast!

"I'll be glad when the television is fixed."

Thermidor Dali