Ninja Culture Gifts

'You chickened out of much-needed surgery. Now we're forced to perform an invasive procedure.'

"Bah, I could've written a better dénouement in my sleep."

"Can we please just stick to the core business?"

"Sir, you're not on the list - we've checked it twice."

'I see you're still trying to get the staff enthused over the weekly meetings.' (Meeting offers free coffee, free snacks, eye-popping charts, exciting videos and free idea pads).

'Oooh, Jimmy, the teacher put another throwing star on your paper! Great!'

Mega Cosmic Films. It's about a squad of ninja nuns? Yes, we call it "Force of Habit"!

'Yes I think we did go to school together. Wasn't you the old headmistress?'

Book Thief in True Crime Department

"We need a better piling system."

"I only see the tech guru and the financial wizard. No sign of the systems ninja."

"We supply the exercise and nutrition program, but it's up to you to supply the narcissism."

"Building a ninja-attracting business culture is easy. Keeping them focused on equity-based financial analysis? Not so easy."

'I know I can train them to be thoughtful productive citizens if I can ever get past sit.'

Ninja.

...Sheep worrying had taken on a whole new meaning on Joe's farm!

"Better than Chekhov"

'She wasn't a soccer mom after all -- she was a NINJA mom!'

Oh, don't worry about my husband — he's out of town on his silly ninja business.

"We're looking for fresh, exciting, independent voices which are very similar to those of our existing bestsellers."

"Your book is a masterpiece, but, unfortunately, we're rather picky."

Parkour Breakfast

"A ninja is silent as darkness, so-tippy-toes, people, tippy-toes!"

Be the grass...

Because bubble wrap made it hard to sneak up on their targets, ninjas eventually switched to their familiar black outfits.

"For the last time—'Rider' is the birthday boy, 'Laser' is the party venue, and 'Scooter' is the gift we got him."

'I wouldn't do that if I were you, mister. This saloon is made entirely of ninjas.'

'I've decided to narrate my own like in the third person today', he said - 'Oh, God. Not this again', she uttered plaintively. - 'Shut. Up.', she bellowed threatiningly at the fleeing man.

Ninja Rule no#1: never wear corduroy.

Information War

"Cowabunga! Guess whose arthritis just kicked in? Advanced age, mutant ninja turtles"

Camp Games

Ninja Mom: 'Boys if you cant say something with a sword, don't say anything.'

Ninja

Running out of time