Nighttime Humor Gifts

Giant cat sleeps on a building

"It was a cheese and wine party but the mice got there first!"

"Good evening, Susan. We've decided it's time you get your own bed."

'Larry liked to crack the window before bed.'

A man and his baby are wearing bibs with images of what they are eating.

"You kept me awake all night, grinding your gums."

Shawn considered himself a vegetarian by proxy.

'Ha ha ha, it's him again! He always makes me laugh.'

"Where did you say you went to culinary school?"

"Roll over. Your Zs are looking like Ns."

'Couldn't he just lie at the foot of the bed like other dogs?'

"Read it again, Daddy!"

"I'd know my tinnitus anywhere and this isn't it."

"Mind if I read a little?"

Menage a Paws.

"Last night we watched three movies back to back. I was the one facing the telly."

"I slept funny!"

'Yes, it's very nice. But, that isn't what I meant when I asked you to be more creative, in bed.'

"Perhaps you'd be able to sleep better if you pajamas weren't so loud."

"Charley horse! Charley horse! Charley horse! Charleee!!"

"I blacked out for ten minutes this morning - Then I realised I had put my hoodie on backwards."

Man's dentures hold cigar.

'It's really nothing - Looks like baby boomer age spots.'

"Why can't you just read in bed?"

Overnight Programming

'Instead of a bedtime story, I'm going to read you my company's report for the third quarter.'

'...and another thing. You're very selfish.'

Brrr...for the last time! Keep your cold feet on your side of the bed!

"Read me that story that puts you to sleep so I can play in the internet."

'Sneaks into house late at night' Venn Diagram

Woman has man in shopping trolley

"I see a huge spider on the wall ... whatever you do, do not move!"