Nightclub Manager Gifts

"What's great about this job is the anti-social interaction."

'So - what's your problem?'

"Do you have any idea who I am?"

"There's no business like show business. . ."

'Nice legs...Yes, most tables would have collapsed by now.'

'Actually, I'm not looking for a bouncer. I'm looking for somebody to throw customers in.'

"The Environment Agency have sent a solution to your noise pollution problem, Mr Dopolus."

'So? What's the problem?'

Dance.

Club insecurity.

The Dark: Where light goes when it goes out.

'Well, gotta get up early and start drinking again.'

Best Before 5th Pint.

'I'm having trouble with my drinking. Arthritis in my elbow.'

'The bigger they are... The harder they hit!'

"The club scene is really changing."

'I wished I'd known about this club last week. I'm really stressed out at my job!'

The Stripper

Punctuation Karaoke Night

'Mmm … and he's ringing wet too. I just can't resist the smell of a wet dog.'

Site of new Super Gamblers Anonymous.

"The next song is for all you unreconstructed commies, who are still in love with their tractors."

"This next song's about spreading risk in a volitile market by diversification"

Early Night Club

Burlyesque

'I think she just whispered those three little words in his ear - Time,Gentlemen,Please!'

"Let's change table stakes to vacation days."

'When you're swimming at night and something gives you a bite, it's a Moray! You think it's a seal but it's really an eel, it's a Moray!'

Rooster DJ scratches records during party.

Joe's Bar, Under New Joe!

'For the last time, how Club Tropicana makes a profit if the drinks are free isn't your problem.'

I'm going out for a while. Keep an eye on things.

"Let 'em try to regulate this!"

"Telephone call for you, it's the Bank Manager."

Fly Club Singer: 'Wherever I Lay My Eggs, That's My Home...'