Nightclub Owner Gifts

'We found a stash of Echoes and some Lima Sierra Delta.'

The Barbarian At the Villiage Gate

The stripper.

'For the last time, how Club Tropicana makes a profit if the drinks are free isn't your problem.'

'Sorry Pal. Strictly no reflections!'

Savvy Businessman uses mannequins to make his club look popular.

Closing Laugh, Strip Tease.

Cloud Cuckoo Land, Hamburger bar, "I don't like the look of this Charlie"

"We have three house blends: 'One More Chance', 'Forget About It' or 'I'll See You In Fun Court'."

'Men are like fragments of soap... they get together in bars!'

"And the cheese in your omelette? Cheddar, Brie, aged Gouda, Morbier, Torta del Casar, Double Gloucester, Époisses, Shropshire blue, or American?"

'Well, now that I know he's the owner's son, yes, he's the best damned wine steward I've ever seen.'

"This place is one of New York's best-kept secrets."

Fast food. Even faster food

'It's the chef's special. His wife just had a baby.'

"You said the cauliflower is locally grown – would you elaborate?"

'Do you have any catsup?'

Self Service Restaurant: 'Where do you keep the eggs?'

'Don't order the Super Duper Jumbo Special.'

'Well, gotta get up early and start drinking again.'

As you like it - 'Waiter, chicken with watercress please' 'I'm sorry sir we haven't any chicken left ... but if you wish I bring you a larger portion of watercress...'

Mac's Bait and Sushi Shop

Today's special... donuts.

Try to guess the continent dining...

'I'll have you know sir, that we used the finest columbian coffee beans in that dishwater.'

'Mom's Diner, Turkey Sandwich Special, $2.00.'

"She'll have a semi-wizened, double ristretto with a dot of quail's milk - and please recite a poem while you make it."

Beer Stall

"All of tonight's specials dance around the whole GMO thing."

Kitchen Kapers

Shaken not stirred

"It's a new countertop draft system for craft beer!"

"A pint! I'll need proof, and that's human years, not dog years!"

"This is our soft opening."

Bar snacks served in bird-feeders.