Nightclub Owner Gifts

'We found a stash of Echoes and some Lima Sierra Delta.'

The Barbarian At the Villiage Gate

The stripper.

'For the last time, how Club Tropicana makes a profit if the drinks are free isn't your problem.'

'Sorry Pal. Strictly no reflections!'

Savvy Businessman uses mannequins to make his club look popular.

Closing Laugh, Strip Tease.

"Telephone call for you, it's the Bank Manager."

Cloud Cuckoo Land, Hamburger bar, "I don't like the look of this Charlie"

"We have three house blends: 'One More Chance', 'Forget About It' or 'I'll See You In Fun Court'."

"And the cheese in your omelette? Cheddar, Brie, aged Gouda, Morbier, Torta del Casar, Double Gloucester, Époisses, Shropshire blue, or American?"

'Well, now that I know he's the owner's son, yes, he's the best damned wine steward I've ever seen.'

'Men are like fragments of soap... they get together in bars!'

"This place is one of New York's best-kept secrets."

'It's the chef's special. His wife just had a baby.'

"You said the cauliflower is locally grown – would you elaborate?"

'Do you have any catsup?'

Fast food. Even faster food

Self Service Restaurant: 'Where do you keep the eggs?'

'Don't order the Super Duper Jumbo Special.'

'Well, gotta get up early and start drinking again.'

"Something romantic, perhaps?"

Try to guess the continent dining...

'I'll have you know sir, that we used the finest columbian coffee beans in that dishwater.'

Mac's Bait and Sushi Shop

Careful, the plate's probably still hot.

As you like it - 'Waiter, chicken with watercress please' 'I'm sorry sir we haven't any chicken left ... but if you wish I bring you a larger portion of watercress...'

Today's special... donuts.

'Mom's Diner, Turkey Sandwich Special, $2.00.'

Desert $2.75. See? -- It wasn't a typo.

"Five hamburgers with buns, three hamburgers without buns and two buns, without hamburgers."

Bar snacks served in bird-feeders.

"A pint! I'll need proof, and that's human years, not dog years!"

"This is our soft opening."

Kitchen Kapers