Niche Gift Hunter Pillows

Crap Stuff Shop.

'What do you do with the time you save?'

'All I want for Valentine's Day is a Greek fisherman's cap.'

"Sorry lad, ye can't be having' me pot o' toilet paper."

How Amazon was invented

"'How We Die' - fabulous!"

'No, I didn't know it was hunting season - why do you ask?'

'What kind of filling would you like?'

"What if the cat stuck in the tree has a gun? Is that an emergency?"

'The worst thing about it is I'm claustrophobic.'

"They certainly are jolly creatures aren't they?"

Happy Bifurcation Day,

'You reek of crackers.'

Kid Hints To Santa That He Wants A Bicycle For Christmas

"I'll fill it with Play Doh and no one will ever know the difference."

Football heads...

'I'm going to be a little late.'

'My whole life, I've felt like I've been running from something...'

"The reason you're not popular is...well...you smell like shark repellant."

"I have to cancel our plans. I feel a headache coming on."

"Yeah, I'm out on bail: The judge laughed when he said I was not a flight risk..."

One of a kind.

The polar bear's vending machine.

Caricatures priced by how much they look like you.

'Forget those itch creams, do what I do, just put your butt down on the carpet and scoot around the room.'

Rainy day despondency phobia: 'Poor George can't stand the pitter-patter of rain on his shell.'

Frosty decides to have a carrot job

Pavlov's Dog at Christmas time...

'Impressive screen, but doesn't it put you off your tea?'

Cavewoman knitting with wool from mammoth

Contended beaver nurses a full stomach having eaten the captains wooden leg.

Toilet Tissue Typist.

"Money or your beard!"

"Save the thong. I'd like to floss afterwards."

"Tell me... how is it that a simple holiday ribbon and bow can cost $45?"