Gift Hunting Pillows

'What do you do with the time you save?'

'Santa recalled thousands of toys ― he delivered them to kids who're in fact naughty.'

"As you can see, I've alphabetized the items, presents owing if you will, so if you can digitally initial here, here, here, here and here and sign there. Thank you. See you December 24."

Christmas Tree

'All I want for Valentine's Day is a Greek fisherman's cap.'

"Cards to remind people that you still haven’t gotten a thank you note from them"

"From the gentleman at the end of the barre."

"Sorry lad, ye can't be having' me pot o' toilet paper."

Say it with flowers

"I'd like a partridge in a pear tree, 2 turtle doves, 3 French hens, 4 calling birds and 7 swans a swimming."

"'How We Die' - fabulous!"

'They're dog roses!'

'You got anything that says I put some thought into this gift?'

"Gift"

'No sharing gifts! You get the Teddy Bear, he gets the bone.'

T-Rex Game of Choice - Ping Pong

Santa in the Sky: Happy Holidays!

'What kind of filling would you like?'

Love.

Holiday Sales: The Starting Line

"Shouldn't have, you really."

"I hate it..."

"What if the cat stuck in the tree has a gun? Is that an emergency?"

Valentines Balloons

'So, that's where the blue water comes from!'

"Got any cards saying friendship is priceless under 5 bucks?"

Football heads...

'Let's open presents Christmas Eve AND morning. That way Christmas lasts for TWO days.'

Greeting card section: 'thank you' and 'you're welcome'.

'I'm huggable!'

'I don't need to know what it is when it's on sale.'

'Take five Harry, I'm going on ahead to scout for sales'

"Honey, I love celebrating Christmas! I love all the food, the sweets, the Christmas tree and the presents, but our bank account hates Christmas!"

"A cactus! Darling, you're such a romantic..."