Gift Hunting Adventurer Pillows

Holiday Sales: The Starting Line

'What do you do with the time you save?'

"Sorry lad, ye can't be having' me pot o' toilet paper."

'All I want for Valentine's Day is a Greek fisherman's cap.'

"'How We Die' - fabulous!"

Castle, Cafe + Gift Shop.

'No, I didn't know it was hunting season - why do you ask?'

'What kind of filling would you like?'

"What if the cat stuck in the tree has a gun? Is that an emergency?"

'The worst thing about it is I'm claustrophobic.'

Happy Bifurcation Day,

'Our giant sale now on!'

"I'll fill it with Play Doh and no one will ever know the difference."

Kid Hints To Santa That He Wants A Bicycle For Christmas

Football heads...

"I've been really craving Italian food for months now. Can you grab me two kilos of rigatoni, three kilos of fettuccini, and a bigger shell? The one I have is feeling a bit too tight lately."

'We leave for France tomorrow. I just can't wait to visit all those famous museum gift shops!'

'My whole life, I've felt like I've been running from something...'

Traffic calming ahead.

"Yeah, I'm out on bail: The judge laughed when he said I was not a flight risk..."

"The reason you're not popular is...well...you smell like shark repellant."

Survival kit

The polar bear's vending machine.

"I can't afford to feed you."

Cavewoman knitting with wool from mammoth

Doomsday marketing

Tinder

'Oh, I'm not looking for Gold, I'm checking for bear-traps...'

Toilet Tissue Typist.

'It's time you booked yourself into rehab!'

Unsuccessful Christmas novelty items. Blitzen on a Kitten. Angel on a Bagel. Frosty on a coffee. Claus on your Bras.

"Now be honest, does it make me look younger?"

Final clearance sale.

'I went window shopping today. I came home with four double glazed units!'

"But I actually wanted something specific...!"