Gift Hunting Adventurer Mugs

Holiday Sales: The Starting Line

'What do you do with the time you save?'

'All I want for Valentine's Day is a Greek fisherman's cap.'

"Sorry lad, ye can't be having' me pot o' toilet paper."

"'How We Die' - fabulous!"

Castle, Cafe + Gift Shop.

'No, I didn't know it was hunting season - why do you ask?'

'What kind of filling would you like?'

"What if the cat stuck in the tree has a gun? Is that an emergency?"

'The worst thing about it is I'm claustrophobic.'

Happy Bifurcation Day,

"I've been really craving Italian food for months now. Can you grab me two kilos of rigatoni, three kilos of fettuccini, and a bigger shell? The one I have is feeling a bit too tight lately."

'Our giant sale now on!'

Football heads...

Kid Hints To Santa That He Wants A Bicycle For Christmas

'My whole life, I've felt like I've been running from something...'

Traffic calming ahead.

'We leave for France tomorrow. I just can't wait to visit all those famous museum gift shops!'

Survival kit

"Yeah, I'm out on bail: The judge laughed when he said I was not a flight risk..."

The polar bear's vending machine.

"The reason you're not popular is...well...you smell like shark repellant."

"I can't afford to feed you."

Cavewoman knitting with wool from mammoth

Doomsday marketing

Tinder

'Oh, I'm not looking for Gold, I'm checking for bear-traps...'

"Now be honest, does it make me look younger?"

Toilet Tissue Typist.

Final clearance sale.

'It's time you booked yourself into rehab!'

'I went window shopping today. I came home with four double glazed units!'

"But I actually wanted something specific...!"

Hamster Wheel/Hamster Wall of Death.