Nhl Gifts

"Lord Stanley's Cup...and Bailey"

The Hockey World

The Stanley Cup comes home to Canada

"Lassie, go get help!" "Oh Timmy you idiot! Not again!"

A Puppet Named Juan

Shepherd and eurydice

"Ya know, 'DUH' can be a very hurtful word."

"Do you want to play doctorate?"

It is important to give your dog opportunities to play with people.

Monster Baseball. The team's continuing to have some problems this season. Jekyll is good one day and bad the next. Dracula only shows up for night games. The Mummy is always covered in bandages and on the injured list. And King Kong can't keep his mind on the game --- Whenever he sees a pretty woman, he climbs up into the stands after her! At least Frankenstein has been pitching great again, just like when he was young! Yeah, he has a completely new arm!

Hate Platforms

"This is a lovely old song that tells of a young woman who leaves her cottage, and goes off to work. She arrives at her destination, and places some solid NHHS in a flask containing 0.50 atm ofammonia, and attempts to determine the pressures of ammonia and hydrogen sulide when equilibrium is reached."

At the end of each day, Gary had approximately 7 minutes of free time – which left him feeling very vulnerable.

"What did you say about the health of my gut biome?"

Adult Courses. It's so hard keeping the information from different classes separate! I'm talking film history and psychology. I failed a test because I said a "psychopath" is the walkway Norman Bates took home. I also confused geography and aeronautics. I said the "great plains" are located at an Air Force testing base in the California desert. My worst nightmare was confusing the thinks ti learned in driver's education and statistics. But at least I now know it's driving where you must st

"Of course he's smiling. He's getting $15,000 to give a lecture on free speech."

Ethics exam cheater.

"He can't decide which one he likes best. . .His leaf blower, his weed wacker, or his metal detector."

'He really wanted to get into the zombie role, so he became a Meth-Head actor.'

"Good game."

"To torture an insect or not to torture an insect, that is the question."

"Can I borrow the car keys?"

"Bond James, Bond."

'Reading, writing and arithmetic are important, son. Someday you might sign autographs for money.'

They hated me.

'I'm reading aloud, Jeremy - My lips are SUPPOSED to be moving!'

'You may now turn over your paper and begin.' - 'Sir!' - 'Yes?' - 'What is it?' - 'I think Train 'A' and Train 'B' might be going to crash!'

"In high school, I was quite the star in metal shop."

'Let the creepy crawly hunt begin!'

Louis Armstrong

"For the best picture not having won anything thereby being eliminated from this category..."

'I have this fear of the real world...'

A Symphony of Penguins

Blue Stockings - Woman revealing herself as author

"Hulk no can be mad at Mr. Puppy Face"