Ice Hockey Player Gifts

"Hang on, I think we've got a Ring Ding here."

'Your hands are so smooth. Do you use skin softener?'

'Now remember, keep your head up ...that's only a temporary brain in there.'

"The defense rests"

'That's the most hardluck hockey team I've ever seen.'

'His wife is very supportive.'

'Still having problems finding a baby sitter?'

'He migrates through every year about this time. Just sits there and watches. We leave him alone and he leaves us alone...'

Jozef Golonka

'Speed bumps were a stupid idea.'

Hockey and Cell Phones

Hockey cheerleaders.

'Could you wait until I drop the puck next time?'

Ice hockey player with testicles on his stick.

'Squash him.'

'Was a game played here last night?'

Last Line of Defence

"Involuntary manslaughter. How about you?"

GoalieRobics.

Guide to Ice Hockey Fish

Zdeno Chara

"Roomba, noooo!"

"Wait – we're fighting, right?

"Break his third chakra!" "Knock the dharma out of him!"

'Sure beats your cupping your ear!'

"The Bruins are down a goal. Do me a favor: Pretend you’re a Boston terrier."

'Will you lot come out! - the new kit's not that bad!'

"All our extras are ex-soccer players - they're the best at dramatically faking injuries."

"Good game, good game, nice game, namaste, good game, nice game ..."

'I do a lot of icing. It's part of my mellowness.'

Lemniskate

Football

'How many times have I told you not to hit the ball with your head?'

Ball as water-melon.

Hockey Season.