Nhl Fan Gifts

"Lord Stanley's Cup...and Bailey"

"Break his third chakra!" "Knock the dharma out of him!"

"The Bruins are down a goal. Do me a favor: Pretend you’re a Boston terrier."

"Good game, good game, nice game, namaste, good game, nice game ..."

Hockey Season.

"Penny's still having issues grasping 'icing the puck,' but she nailed 'offsides' and 'too many men' today!"

The Leafs win the Cup!

The Hockey World

Yeah, I've been driving in circles for an hour looking for a place to park. Zamboni.

'Dewey, come look! This is so cute. The kids are playing wii hockey.'

Where the Deer and the Antelope Play...

Zdeno Chara

"...And don't give me that 'I hope his precious little Blackhawks lose' look either!"

The Real March of the Penguins.

Dating The Daughter Of A Hockey Goalie

'Cool!! Your Dad lets you take accordian lessons??!!'

'Overruled, you may continue.'

'His wife is very supportive.'

We're not picking you up from field hockey. Take the late bus. Ok then. I'll get home at 8:30, miss dinner and have no time to study. I'll fail my classes, never get a job and live the rest of my life with you. Not true! You have a bright future as an extortionist. Or soap opera star!

'Last warning, Girard! Get rid of that mask!'

"I'm watching the hockey game. The score is 4 nothing for the Zamboni driver."

"Psst, Abe. Tom and I are relocating to Canada. You in?"

"I don’t know what it is, but every time the Bruins win, I love you more and more!"

Raging Bull on Ice

"I've never been into the other team's end... what's it like?"

Mrs. Tree? A hockey ball hit your daughter. It's likely just a bad bruise. Whew! Though there could be a fracture, nerve damage or fatal blood clots. What? Don't worry. Our medical advisor is evaluating Twig right now. Can you sign this liability waiver? Her hand seems fine. Team lawyer.

'...And remember' It's not whether your dads win or lose the fight in the stands. It's how you play the game.'

"Good game.". . ."Good game.". . . "Nice game.". . . "Good game.". . . "I'm in love with you.". . . "Good game."

'That's an interesting point. If they're both on the same team, is it a penalty?'

Always keep your eyes on the ball, Tigers!! Why? I never get to play. Crack. Whack! Any other questions? Will this get me out of practice?

"Son, I’d say the ACL tear is the least of your problems."

Kane and Abe L.

'Where the Deer and the Antelope play and veterinary dental bills are high.'

'Now, lift and squeeze the diaphragm.' ... 'Sweet.'

"What?!! I'm reducing friction on the ice."