Newborn Diary Keeper Pillows

The baby born with a middle-aged brain. Darn it, I left the womb to get something … Now, what was it?

'Dear Diarrhea, Day 84. Well, I'm constipated again today...'

Professional woman in pub

'Lost Diary'

'And so thanks to my dad's waistline I now understand the theory of our constantly expanding universe!'

How do I love me? Let me count the ways. Ok. You have 18,523 selfies.

"Dear Diary... I've stopped smoking, and I'm sticking to my diet."

Summertime... When you go zero to 'booked up' in 3.5 seconds

'Wow! - Your diary is even more boring than MY diary!'

'What did I ever see in you?' 'Fortunately I wrote it down. 'Jenny thinks I have a super sense of humour.''

"Guess the weight you used to be"

"Wh@_I_Did_During_My_Whole_Summer_Vacation."

"I had half a date last weekend."

Thin and thick

'Last again. I hope you kept a diary of your trip.'

Sponge Blog

I can't decide if I want my blog to be G-rated or X-rated. On the one hand, "blog" is just a four-letter word. But on the other hand, cleanliness is next to blogginess. ?

Mystic Writes 2014 Diary

Gigolo Diary

The Subpoenaed Diaries Of Anïs Nin

'Lost again. I hope you kept a diary of your trip.'

'Dear Dairy, Well... I met someone, and I think she could be Mrs. Alright.'

"Sixty three percent of my life is on video."

"Dear Diary, Ate linguini for the first time tonight..."

"He was the answer to my prayers. The answer was 'No'."

My Mother Is Dead But Her Body Is Still Alive

The casual selfie

Mystic's Diary

"I'm keeping a diary. If ever there is a court case I don't want to have to rely on my memory!"

"We'll you're never gonna get it."

How I lost 200 kilos of friends in just 3 months!

"My husband has such a good memory: He's never missed a birthday or a wedding anniversary..."

"I am a failure...nobody comments on my blog."

"Nothing much happened today"

"You don't keep an orgasm diary do you? My last girlfriend kept an orgasm diary."