Baby Diary Keepers Pillows

"I'm keeping a diary. If ever there is a court case I don't want to have to rely on my memory!"

'Dear Diarrhea, Day 84. Well, I'm constipated again today...'

'I'm keeping a scrap book. All I've got so far is one umbilical cord.'

'Are you pregnant? How do you know? You look terrible!'

Professional woman in pub

'And so thanks to my dad's waistline I now understand the theory of our constantly expanding universe!'

'Lost Diary'

How do I love me? Let me count the ways. Ok. You have 18,523 selfies.

"Dear Diary... I've stopped smoking, and I'm sticking to my diet."

Summertime... When you go zero to 'booked up' in 3.5 seconds

"Guess the weight you used to be"

"I had half a date last weekend."

'What did I ever see in you?' 'Fortunately I wrote it down. 'Jenny thinks I have a super sense of humour.''

"Wh@_I_Did_During_My_Whole_Summer_Vacation."

'Wow! - Your diary is even more boring than MY diary!'

Thin and thick

'Last again. I hope you kept a diary of your trip.'

I can't decide if I want my blog to be G-rated or X-rated. On the one hand, "blog" is just a four-letter word. But on the other hand, cleanliness is next to blogginess. ?

Gigolo Diary

Mystic Writes 2014 Diary

"Ever since I changed Siri to a male he's been forgetting birthdays and anniversaries."

'Lost again. I hope you kept a diary of your trip.'

'Dear Dairy, Well... I met someone, and I think she could be Mrs. Alright.'

The Subpoenaed Diaries Of Anïs Nin

"Sixty three percent of my life is on video."

The baby born with a middle-aged brain. Darn it, I left the womb to get something … Now, what was it?

"Dear Diary, Ate linguini for the first time tonight..."

The Impractical Guide to Babies: 'more pain relief....for me!'

My Mother Is Dead But Her Body Is Still Alive

How I lost 200 kilos of friends in just 3 months!

"He was the answer to my prayers. The answer was 'No'."

Mystic's Diary

The casual selfie

"We'll you're never gonna get it."

'Sorry, Ted, but I don't think I can squeeze you in...'