Baby Diary Keepers Pillows

"I'm keeping a diary. If ever there is a court case I don't want to have to rely on my memory!"

'Dear Diarrhea, Day 84. Well, I'm constipated again today...'

'I'm keeping a scrap book. All I've got so far is one umbilical cord.'

'Are you pregnant? How do you know? You look terrible!'

Professional woman in pub

'And so thanks to my dad's waistline I now understand the theory of our constantly expanding universe!'

'Lost Diary'

"Dear Diary... I've stopped smoking, and I'm sticking to my diet."

Summertime... When you go zero to 'booked up' in 3.5 seconds

"I had half a date last weekend."

"Guess the weight you used to be"

'Wow! - Your diary is even more boring than MY diary!'

'What did I ever see in you?' 'Fortunately I wrote it down. 'Jenny thinks I have a super sense of humour.''

"Wh@_I_Did_During_My_Whole_Summer_Vacation."

Thin and thick

'Last again. I hope you kept a diary of your trip.'

Gigolo Diary

Mystic Writes 2014 Diary

"Ever since I changed Siri to a male he's been forgetting birthdays and anniversaries."

The Subpoenaed Diaries Of Anïs Nin

"Dear Diary, Ate linguini for the first time tonight..."

'Lost again. I hope you kept a diary of your trip.'

"Sixty three percent of my life is on video."

'Dear Dairy, Well... I met someone, and I think she could be Mrs. Alright.'

The Impractical Guide to Babies: 'more pain relief....for me!'

"We'll you're never gonna get it."

Mystic's Diary

"He was the answer to my prayers. The answer was 'No'."

The casual selfie

'Sorry, Ted, but I don't think I can squeeze you in...'

"My husband has such a good memory: He's never missed a birthday or a wedding anniversary..."