New Testament Lover Gifts

Pastor Joe never works blue: 'I avoid the sex and violence of the Old Testament.'

"Meet the scribe"

"Too 'Book of Genesis'?"

'The Lord spake to Moses? You mean voice mail?'

'Yes, all at once!'

"I've told you before one at each end!"

"Hang on, isn't this the second pair of zebras we've had today?"

'You say the ARKS are NOT two by two?'

Ezekiel and his Dog: "Have you been in the valley of dry bones again?"

'Tell us the story of Moses again -- I like the chase scene!'

"If this Goliath bloke is as big as they say, I can just hang around the forest until he's gone."

'Hello Colin, I'm Arthur, any idea what all the fuss is about?'

Little Known Moments In History

'Wow! It didn't take long to lose that new ark smell.'

'Well, that's just great...you can part the Red Sea, but you can't open a jar of pickles for me!'

"Mark, you have to stop calling John's gospel 'Fan Fiction.'"

'Why did Moses wander in the desert for forty years?'

'Number three?', 'This is NOT a quiz!'

''No other gods before me'? Oh - You're one of THOSE types.'

'You brought gold? I thought we agreed to a twenty dollar limit?'

Regifts of the Magi

"I was kind of hoping just to tell them what they want to hear...."

Joseph and his coat

'Let your people go? - after all the trouble I went to getting them full employment?'

''Tree of Knowledge,' eh? - Has it been fact-checked?'

Adam and Eve Arrested

BRAND-NEW OMG-STORY

'What about three-day Sabbaths?'

Horseshoes...Samson-style

"Looks like we're in trouble now...he's got four bars on that thing."