New Retirement Home Gifts

Sunnydene Rest Home

"Thanks to the Oscars, we're going to be the hottest finger food this season."

LAY ZEE FUK

"He's got no clue how easy he has it compared to his ancestors."

Lady of the Cake.

"I think the most rewarding part of caring for elderly parents is when they call you because they don't want to bother the 9-1-1 people."

"Whenever he shows up everything turns to crap!"

'Honey, where's my cell phone?'

The wonderful world of cheese.

"Great cruise except the zip lining got flooded."

"Yo, Eunice – don’t leave me hangin’."

"You go on in, I’m just going to catch up with the moon for a few minutes."

"Don't worry - I'm here for the television."

Allotment

Gardener

"First I drink, then I barbecue — that's my secret."

Why it's bad when home owners change their minds about the bathroom's location late in a building project.

"And this is our media room."

Rose Garden

Shed Into Dream Playhouse.

'A little piece of advice, Verl. . . cut your sandwich loaf on a diagonal . . . that way people will think they're gettin' more.'

Beach Barbecue

'Sorry, but we're going out for dinner.'

"No! I want to live! I want to live!"

"Wild-caught, farm-raised, lab-grown, beach-found, or aquarium-harvested."

"Careful with that - the wife made it at pottery class."

'How do you like my new, deep plush carpet?'

"I think I perferred the plain magnolia"

"I feel like pushing the envelope this morning, honey, starting with a little grape jelly for that bran muffin."

'Bad luck duck - he's on your side of the bed.'

"Get... a-nother room!"

'You realize we're only having three people over...'

'Your fancy new grill works great. . .and we didn't even have to turn it on.'

'With my parents out of the house, I can finally start my long awaited mural project.'

Candle Portraits.