New Retirement Home Gifts

Sunnydene Rest Home

"Thanks to the Oscars, we're going to be the hottest finger food this season."

LAY ZEE FUK

"He's got no clue how easy he has it compared to his ancestors."

Lady of the Cake.

"I think the most rewarding part of caring for elderly parents is when they call you because they don't want to bother the 9-1-1 people."

"Whenever he shows up everything turns to crap!"

"Yo, Eunice – don’t leave me hangin’."

The wonderful world of cheese.

'Honey, where's my cell phone?'

"You go on in, I’m just going to catch up with the moon for a few minutes."

"Great cruise except the zip lining got flooded."

"First I drink, then I barbecue — that's my secret."

"Don't worry - I'm here for the television."

Gardener

Allotment

Why it's bad when home owners change their minds about the bathroom's location late in a building project.

"And this is our media room."

'A little piece of advice, Verl. . . cut your sandwich loaf on a diagonal . . . that way people will think they're gettin' more.'

Rose Garden

Beach Barbecue

Shed Into Dream Playhouse.

'Sorry, but we're going out for dinner.'

"No! I want to live! I want to live!"

Retirement homes' 'pill fight'.

"Wild-caught, farm-raised, lab-grown, beach-found, or aquarium-harvested."

"Careful with that - the wife made it at pottery class."

'How do you like my new, deep plush carpet?'

"I think I perferred the plain magnolia"

Getting to Know You

Candle Portraits.

"I feel like pushing the envelope this morning, honey, starting with a little grape jelly for that bran muffin."

"Get... a-nother room!"

'With my parents out of the house, I can finally start my long awaited mural project.'

'You realize we're only having three people over...'