New Home Gifts

Creation of Red Wine

"I have a couple of other projects I'm excited about."

"Oh shoot, we still need to get Hanukkah gifts for the Rosenbaums."

"You're not going to put that there, are you?"

"No! I want to live! I want to live!"

'Fine, we'll get an air conditioner.'

"Oh no I left my bagpipes in the oven."

'Love your renovations.'

"...it's difficult to assemble - we'll let the customers do it."

Hammer Drill

"Let me guess: Step two, add sand."

Man with self-assembly wardrobe and lots of random pieces: 'Funny how there always seems to be a few bits left over.'

Ig-glue.

"Remember when all we had was lots of little pillows?"

'I told you nylon carpets were a mistake.'

'Where are the kids?'

'Hey - nice place!'

"It's only until spring."

'MY husband made the coffee table out of an old door.'

"It's not just the same old crap—it's wider."

Please excuse him, he's intent.

'Now that we've adjusted to the dampness, we just love this house.'

Dance of the Inconsistent Water Temperature

'You certainly have a well equipped workbench.'

"Laundry or composting?"

'Shocking, the overcrowding in our prisons.'

Moses unblocking the toilet.

'Is there any way of keeping the light one when you're inside?'

"Wild-caught, farm-raised, lab-grown, beach-found, or aquarium-harvested."

"So, who would you like me to call first, dear, the plumber or the exterminator?"

'No, not disappointed - I think I just hadn't realised the meaning of the term kitchen island.'

'How are you doing on your side?'

Old Wine in an Old Bottle

Ancient Greek interior design. "It's a bit Spartan."

Lady of the Cake.