New Homeowner Gifts

"Installed it himself ??" saved $50."

'Frank is into D.I.Y...'Destroy It Yourself'!'

Harry believed in having the right tool for the wrong job.

"I said to myself, 'Maybe I can't change the world, but I can remodel my bathroom.' "

"Bungle the flip! Bungle the flip!"

"What should I wear to the living room today?"

Man drills a hole floor to let leak from ceiling into funnel.

'Well, I got that nasty stain out of the carpet!'

Leaf Blowers: Loudly making yard work someone else's problem since the 1960's.

"Can't we just get some load-bearing wallpaper?"

House Painting with a Twist

'Hello, Acme Termite Control...?'

'This weekend I'm doing all those little jobs I never seem to get around to doing.'

'I installed all the floor tiles by myself. I did it all by tile and error.'

Electric Rate Hikers: ZZZZZT!

'The plumber said he can't come right now, but promised to put us on his 'wading list'. Cute, huh?'

Vendo Tree.

I did it my way.

'Labour saving, my foot! I've spent all morning trying to get it started!'

'The world's first riding lawnmower.'

'It's a thousand pities you had to miss those final weeks of your upholstery class.'

'I found the home maintenance manual in the attic. I think it's got mildew.'

'Alright Harold... now stop feigning death and go mow the loan!'

"I don't think the turkey's going to be done on time. That's the dishwasher."

As you can see, it's prime real-estate: Within walking distance of the sewerage-outlet...

"So tell me, did you install gold, silver or platinum water pipes?"

"I'm sure it's a false alarm - my husband must have the leak fixed by now."

"Should I fix it or call it a water feature?"

'There's no Labor Day holiday for 'honey-do's'.'

"There must be an easier way to find someone who can fix the toilet!"

"When you get a minute, I have some kitchen shelves you can put up."

'Now that it's March, it's safe to put the snow shovels away, right?'

Book sale

'The upside is that if the water gets high enough all your termites might drown.'

'He is decorating,even he can't mess that up.'