New Homeownership Gifts

'The grass is always greener on the other side seed'.

Bazzini & Sons Lawn Service: 'We don't cut corners'.

"Thanks to the Oscars, we're going to be the hottest finger food this season."

"He's got no clue how easy he has it compared to his ancestors."

LAY ZEE FUK

Lady of the Cake.

"Whenever he shows up everything turns to crap!"

The wonderful world of cheese.

"Great cruise except the zip lining got flooded."

'Honey, where's my cell phone?'

Gardener

Allotment

"Don't worry - I'm here for the television."

"And this is our media room."

Beach Barbecue

Shed Into Dream Playhouse.

Rose Garden

'A little piece of advice, Verl. . . cut your sandwich loaf on a diagonal . . . that way people will think they're gettin' more.'

Tool Box

'Sorry, but we're going out for dinner.'

"No! I want to live! I want to live!"

"This the first time you guys ever installed an above-ground pool?"

"Bungle the flip! Bungle the flip!"

"Wild-caught, farm-raised, lab-grown, beach-found, or aquarium-harvested."

"Careful with that - the wife made it at pottery class."

'How do you like my new, deep plush carpet?'

"I think I perferred the plain magnolia"

"I don't think the turkey's going to be done on time. That's the dishwasher."

'With my parents out of the house, I can finally start my long awaited mural project.'

"Get... a-nother room!"

"I feel like pushing the envelope this morning, honey, starting with a little grape jelly for that bran muffin."

"The following film has been formatted to fir the screen of the newer and more expensive television set."

'You realize we're only having three people over...'

Candle Portraits.

'Your fancy new grill works great. . .and we didn't even have to turn it on.'