New Homeowner Pride Gifts

'I know it's hard to believe, but before this, I'd never built a thing!'

"Enough with how great the public schools are. Just tell us – is there a Trader Joe’s nearby?"

"Thanks! Carl put his heart and soul into it, along with, of course, lots of mud and a boatload of his own saliva."

"Bungle the flip! Bungle the flip!"

"I don't think the turkey's going to be done on time. That's the dishwasher."

"I said to myself, 'Maybe I can't change the world, but I can remodel my bathroom.' "

A DIY disaster.

"This is bishop’s weed — always pee on it. Tell your friends."

Jack and Ina build their dream house.

'I installed all the floor tiles by myself. I did it all by tile and error.'

'I found the home maintenance manual in the attic. I think it's got mildew.'

"Maybe the termite problem should take precedence over the chimney problem."

"...And this is the part where he veers off course from the YouTube tutorial."

"Yes! I hit a triple. Woo-hoo."

Beginning Yarder.

'Hey, are you like me? Do you hate mowing around trees? ell, then THIS is the machine for you!'

'The upside is that if the water gets high enough all your termites might drown.'

"Dad! The bathroom pipes are clogged up!"

The Day Dreamer.

'Frank is into D.I.Y...'Destroy It Yourself'!'

"What should I wear to the living room today?"

'Hello, Acme Termite Control...?'

Believe it or not, I'm sitting her watching the fights. Harry versus the crabgrass, the moles, the insects...

"At last we own our own apartment. I feel like a king."

"Installed it himself ??" saved $50."

"Can't we just get some load-bearing wallpaper?"

Baby it's cold outside.

"When you get a minute, I have some kitchen shelves you can put up."

Drought's Over

'We're starting to build our own house. How much is this two by four?'

Human males marking territory.

"Did we just paint the house or did it just paint us?!"

'The plumber said he can't come right now, but promised to put us on his 'wading list'. Cute, huh?'

'Alright Harold... now stop feigning death and go mow the loan!'

Affordable housing - Mum and Dads.