New Home Ownership Gifts

"This the first time you guys ever installed an above-ground pool?"

'Harry won't even build me a new kitchen.'

"Damn wrong wall."

"...great having a neighbor handy with plumbing..."

"I see you've had a go at mending the dripping tap."

'If you get lost in there , send up one of your distress flares'.

'Thank goodness you got here in time. Frank was going to start without you.'

'Don't give me that! I know for a fact, he was in my flowerbeds!!'

'Joe makes all our own funiture!'

Another over-do-it-yourself project.

Ok, ok, you were right - those weren't termites. Those were flying ants.

"I just got a text message from our dehumidifier. It says it doesn't know how much more of this rain it can take."

Tool Box

Yard Sale

Fuel bill gone through the roof

'The trick is hitting the right nail.'

'Why did you get a huge socket wrench set? You never use socket wrenches.'

"...I love the smell of an uncut lawn."

Man renames home Dun Namin'

Avoid Constant Borrowing

'This is the place, Fred!'

New Power Shower.

'Cracks in the commode have made for wee-wee leaks.'

George is pleased with himself. He replaced the toilet seat without calling a plumber.

"Thanks to the Oscars, we're going to be the hottest finger food this season."

LAY ZEE FUK

"He's got no clue how easy he has it compared to his ancestors."

Lady of the Cake.

"Whenever he shows up everything turns to crap!"

'Honey, where's my cell phone?'

The wonderful world of cheese.

"Great cruise except the zip lining got flooded."

"Don't worry - I'm here for the television."

Gardener

Allotment