Home Ownership Gifts

'Is there anything we can do to repay you other than to repay you?'

'Apparently, just because we took out a mortgage, the bank now expects us to make some sort of monthly payment.'

SOS-Another Property Tax Increase

"Whatever you do, keep up with your mortgage payments."

"Actually he goes with the house...he's been loafing there for ten years and according to the law of easement by prescription..."

'On the positive side, just think how small the mortgage payments will be.'

'Well, it's official. If we miss one more payment the bank is going to come and fill in our hole.'

"Good defenses make good neighbors."

STRIP Hambone: Strict mortgage rules

'Your dream of a house with a white picket fence is still feasible, at least for the picket fence.'

Negative Equity Meter.

"No, it is right. The whole property market's going down the pan."

'What do you mean, you've done more for me than my mother did? We've carried you for ten months.'

'hi, in my home owners insurance rider, is my wedding ring covered if there's a hole in my pocket?'

'I know the bad economy has brought us together as a family, but I wish our kids and grandkids could afford their own place.'

' I tried to get on to the property ladder.'

'That might well have made you feel better, Mr. Jones, but we still have to negotiate a figure. . .'

'Oh drat. I just mailed off my last mortgage payment.'

Don't laugh, my house is paid for.

'...And then, my balloon mortgage popped!'

"Sorry, Bob. You can't refinance when you are upside-down on your home."

"This place has a water view if you're looking at the mortgage."

"Murray, I need you to push a little harder on my home sale. I'm starting to get a little under water on my mortgage."

"It sucks being reincarnated as a snail, but at least I've finally achieved home ownership."

"Good morning - I'm from your bank. We'd like our house back please!"

My equity is bigger than yours.

The Horn Of Extra Square Footage

"Did I Remember To Close The Drawbridge?"

"Someone's been tinkering with your adjustable-rate mortgage."

"I understand the house is a mess inside."

Finally, Aid for Homeowners

"You'll lose your home, but, since it was your dream, you may keep the white picket fence."

'I've bought myself a nice little cottage for when I'm too old to roam the plains...'

'We can offer a stalker mortgage - it's just like a tracker mortgage, only more threatening.'

'If you don't want a lot of column upkeep, this probably isn't a good real estate market for you.'