Homeownership Skeptic Gifts

For Sale by Non-Owners.

Tool Box

"This the first time you guys ever installed an above-ground pool?"

"I'd better enjoy this while I can. It's the only home I'll own without a mortgage!"

'You shouldn't have taken that personal pension.' 'You shouldn't have taken that endowment mortgage.' 'When do you get your free tv license?' Job's comforters, today.

Fuel bill gone through the roof

"But there's no way in hell I could afford Jupiter today."

Yard Sale

"I'm bored - let's buy a house in the country that has lots of problems."

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Pest Control

George is pleased with himself. He replaced the toilet seat without calling a plumber.

'For Sale by Neighbor'

'Harry won't even build me a new kitchen.'

'Why did you get a huge socket wrench set? You never use socket wrenches.'

"I'm looking forward to the next thirty five years of her living with us."

"I just got a text message from our dehumidifier. It says it doesn't know how much more of this rain it can take."

"I'm afraid you neglected to submit the proper development permit application."

'The bad news is the Big Bad Wolf is coming. The good news is I've got some great rates on Homeowner's Insurance!'

'The Hunt family have solved the problem of the fire ants.'

'It says, please disregard this reminder if your payment has already been sent.'

"Good morning - I'm from your bank. We'd like our house back please!"

"This place has a water view if you're looking at the mortgage."

Stan believes in calling a spade a spade.

"Whatever you do, keep up with your mortgage payments."

'Polly doesn't want a cracker, Polly wants a condo in Florida.'

'Will this be a simple equity loan, or are you refinancing your whole marriage?'

'We can't decide between raising kids and raising a mortgage deposit.'

Don't laugh, my house is paid for.

"...I love the smell of an uncut lawn."

"Your dream of a house with a white picket fence is still feasible, at least for the picket fence."

'If you don't want a lot of column upkeep, this probably isn't a good real estate market for you.'

CHEZ MOI - formerly CHEZ NOUS

"I wish I had known you have arachnophobia before I paid."

"Apparently he told Chris Tarrant it was just enough to pay off his mortgage!"