Homeownership Enthusiast Gifts

Americans More Optimistic

'He's building a yacht in his basement.'

"Our light bill is astronomical living next to a black hole."

At first I thought it was just coincidence, but then I realized it corresponded directly to your shift.

"I didn't spark joy."

"When you say the meek will inherit the earth, does that include the mineral rights?"

"I'd better enjoy this while I can. It's the only home I'll own without a mortgage!"

Man sees sign stating dog for sale, house and land thrown in.

"I see you've security marked your property."

"But there's no way in hell I could afford Jupiter today."

'You shouldn't have taken that personal pension.' 'You shouldn't have taken that endowment mortgage.' 'When do you get your free tv license?' Job's comforters, today.

"One day, my boy, all this will be retirement homes."

'You always bring me the same thing every year, toys games sports equipment. I never get what I really want!' - 'What's that?' - 'Real estate!'

Travellers with a developer: 'I see ski slopes.'

The stages of gentrification: a guide

"You've got termites. The good news is I gave them all little phones to keep their minds off doing any damage."

Of course, the rent on the fourth floor is considerably higher.

"A home recently sold in my neighborhood."

"I'm bored - let's buy a house in the country that has lots of problems."

Once again overbudget and past dealine, the predatory boa constractor adroitly squeezes the life from its victim's wallet.

"Look, son, real estate."

"A hole half this size sold for 340,000 acorns last week! No inspection!"

'Hmmph. Here's an ad for affordable housing five minutes from downtown. By what means? Learjet?'

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Somewhere in France: "I thought I was buying goat cheese. I endedup with a chateau in the Loire."

"May I recommend THIS property? It's ideal for first-time haunters..."

"I think we could be very happy here until we aren't."

'For Sale by Neighbor'

'Honey, it's the escrow people. They want to know if you could send a stool sample.'

A large bird house with many compartments; one is labeled "Sup't.".

Emigrating to France.

"I'm looking forward to the next thirty five years of her living with us."

"I couldn't keep up the payments."

"The pH level seems a little off."

"At last we own our own apartment. I feel like a king."