Homeownership Gifts

"I'm bored - let's buy a house in the country that has lots of problems."

"It says our homeowners insurance policy is subject to the following forms and endorsements..."

'Let's see... Ah! Here it is: 'Your policy does not cover floods,earthquakes or axe of god.' Sorry about that, Mr. Finkleman.'

"Frank?"

'For Sale by Neighbor'

"I'm afraid you neglected to submit the proper development permit application."

"Can't you just see us sitting here every morning with our coffee, gazing out the window and worrying about how to pay the mortgage?"

"Someday, son, all this will be mine."

'The bad news is the Big Bad Wolf is coming. The good news is I've got some great rates on Homeowner's Insurance!'

"Liquidity problems?" "Yes, you've limited my water supply!"

"I want a reverse mortgage. Take me back to when I didn't have one."

'It's a new concept in fund drives. First we collect the money, and then we decide what we're going to do with it.'

Affordable homes coming soon - 'If they build these then our house will become affordable...!'

"We must be paying too much for our mortgage - the bank just named us 'Borrowers of the Month."

"I got my tax bill today...do you know what I paid per acre...? Unbelievable!"

Jack was aghast when he realized his homeowner's association prohibited any plant removal.

'Here is the lead-based paint information, Fair Housing criteria, laws regarding tobacco use outdoors slip-and-fall warning, and barring any further public hysteria, the lease itself.'

'Polly doesn't want a cracker, Polly wants a condo in Florida.'

'It says, please disregard this reminder if your payment has already been sent.'

A car drives past a sign that reads "Welcome to Condoville and the illusion of owning your own property."

'It's a perfect starter teepee.'

'Dear Home Owner, If you do not pay your overdue water bill immediately, we will be forced to discontinue your service. Cordially, The Water Department.'

A house is carried off in a tornado.

'Will this be a simple equity loan, or are you refinancing your whole marriage?'

'We made the last payment and we were burning the mortgage to celebrate.'

Elderly couple sits in living room with wall sign that states: God Bless our Reverse Mortgage.

Sold. You think our new cave will be inexpensive to maintain? Yeah, there's low overhead.

Your mortgage has been approved. Now you'll see just how fast a month can fly by.

'My life is so awesome! I've got a starter job, starter house and a starter husband.'

'I guess you could say he's my pet - he came with the house.'

"Honey, don't get upset, but it looks like someone's in your parking space again."

Mortgages.

The Movers Strip- lifestyle of home owners

A women is testing her House to see if it's Pregnant with a 'Home Pregnancy Test' kit

"Forget it Stan - maybe one day... you could rent it."