Homeownership Pillows

"I'm bored - let's buy a house in the country that has lots of problems."

"It says our homeowners insurance policy is subject to the following forms and endorsements..."

'Let's see... Ah! Here it is: 'Your policy does not cover floods,earthquakes or axe of god.' Sorry about that, Mr. Finkleman.'

"Frank?"

'For Sale by Neighbor'

"I'm afraid you neglected to submit the proper development permit application."

"Can't you just see us sitting here every morning with our coffee, gazing out the window and worrying about how to pay the mortgage?"

"Someday, son, all this will be mine."

'The bad news is the Big Bad Wolf is coming. The good news is I've got some great rates on Homeowner's Insurance!'

Affordable homes coming soon - 'If they build these then our house will become affordable...!'

'It's a new concept in fund drives. First we collect the money, and then we decide what we're going to do with it.'

"Liquidity problems?" "Yes, you've limited my water supply!"

"I want a reverse mortgage. Take me back to when I didn't have one."

"I got my tax bill today...do you know what I paid per acre...? Unbelievable!"

"We must be paying too much for our mortgage - the bank just named us 'Borrowers of the Month."

'Here is the lead-based paint information, Fair Housing criteria, laws regarding tobacco use outdoors slip-and-fall warning, and barring any further public hysteria, the lease itself.'

'It says, please disregard this reminder if your payment has already been sent.'

Jack was aghast when he realized his homeowner's association prohibited any plant removal.

'It's a perfect starter teepee.'

A car drives past a sign that reads "Welcome to Condoville and the illusion of owning your own property."

'Polly doesn't want a cracker, Polly wants a condo in Florida.'

'Dear Home Owner, If you do not pay your overdue water bill immediately, we will be forced to discontinue your service. Cordially, The Water Department.'

A house is carried off in a tornado.

Elderly couple sits in living room with wall sign that states: God Bless our Reverse Mortgage.

'We made the last payment and we were burning the mortgage to celebrate.'

'Will this be a simple equity loan, or are you refinancing your whole marriage?'

"Honey, don't get upset, but it looks like someone's in your parking space again."

'I guess you could say he's my pet - he came with the house.'

Mortgages.

Your mortgage has been approved. Now you'll see just how fast a month can fly by.

"Apparently he told Chris Tarrant it was just enough to pay off his mortgage!"

'My life is so awesome! I've got a starter job, starter house and a starter husband.'

The Movers Strip- lifestyle of home owners

A women is testing her House to see if it's Pregnant with a 'Home Pregnancy Test' kit

"Forget it Stan - maybe one day... you could rent it."