Homeownership Skeptic Pillows

Tool Box

"This the first time you guys ever installed an above-ground pool?"

"I'd better enjoy this while I can. It's the only home I'll own without a mortgage!"

'You shouldn't have taken that personal pension.' 'You shouldn't have taken that endowment mortgage.' 'When do you get your free tv license?' Job's comforters, today.

Fuel bill gone through the roof

"But there's no way in hell I could afford Jupiter today."

Yard Sale

"I'm bored - let's buy a house in the country that has lots of problems."

Pest Control

George is pleased with himself. He replaced the toilet seat without calling a plumber.

Do you like to talk about Real Estate? Like to meet other men and women who do? Dial the... REAL-ESTATE HOTLINE

'For Sale by Neighbor'

'Harry won't even build me a new kitchen.'

"I just got a text message from our dehumidifier. It says it doesn't know how much more of this rain it can take."

"I'm looking forward to the next thirty five years of her living with us."

'Why did you get a huge socket wrench set? You never use socket wrenches.'

"I'm afraid you neglected to submit the proper development permit application."

'The bad news is the Big Bad Wolf is coming. The good news is I've got some great rates on Homeowner's Insurance!'

'The Hunt family have solved the problem of the fire ants.'

'It says, please disregard this reminder if your payment has already been sent.'

Stan believes in calling a spade a spade.

"Good morning - I'm from your bank. We'd like our house back please!"

"This place has a water view if you're looking at the mortgage."

"Whatever you do, keep up with your mortgage payments."

'Polly doesn't want a cracker, Polly wants a condo in Florida.'

'Will this be a simple equity loan, or are you refinancing your whole marriage?'

"...I love the smell of an uncut lawn."

Don't laugh, my house is paid for.

"Your dream of a house with a white picket fence is still feasible, at least for the picket fence."

"Apparently he told Chris Tarrant it was just enough to pay off his mortgage!"

"I wish I had known you have arachnophobia before I paid."

'If you don't want a lot of column upkeep, this probably isn't a good real estate market for you.'

'We can't decide between raising kids and raising a mortgage deposit.'

CHEZ MOI - formerly CHEZ NOUS

'If you promise to never try to open the locked attic door, the owner will take $20,00 off!'