New Mom Storyteller Gifts

"She's changed so much since the sonogram."

'I've had some baby sized clubs made.'

'Don't worry. It's never too hot or never too cold.'

"I only travelled with my umbilical cord!"

'You call it a bra. I call it excess packaging.'

"You mustn't pull the cat's tail so hard it tugs the head inside, sweetie!"

"The doctor wanted me to let you know that everything is fine, but your c-section didn't go quite as planned. it was more like a 'K' section..."

Mother Nature

"It's so nice to finally put a face to the name."

"...for a canal I thought that was unusually short."

'We found you in a cabbage!'

Fitness Programme for babies

"You know what they say, there's one born every minute!"

"What is it? You're not wet or hungry. Mommy's not a mind reader. OK, I am, but I've never been very good at it."

"I said, was... it... a... difficult... birth?"

"You got the dolls yesterday? My mom says I took nine months!"

'The dripping keeps me awake!'

'Cracked nipple? But I didn't even drop you.'

'Don't worry about gaining weight after the baby - you'll run it off during the toddler years.'

"Underwater Childbirth Ward."

"With the baby-cam, there is no privacy."

"I want to have at least two children - I have too much guilt to give for just one."

'Ugh Not Again!'

Kids really do make you view the world from a different perspective...I'm on the floor, behind the couch, under the bed...

The Mothership

Why all mothers deserve a special day.

Breastfeeding: Good Design Council

Moms gone wild

'The Fashionable Mamma, or The Convenience of Modern Dress'

'I think it may be a limited edition.'

'Oh wonderful! All day I've been waiting for that burp!'

"Support the head."

"I'm sure he wasn't that big when we went out

'This is a rarity in today's world. No corporate sponsorship signs in here.'

'All I want for Christmas is my old shape back again.'