New Mom Storyteller Gifts

"She's changed so much since the sonogram."

'I've had some baby sized clubs made.'

"I only travelled with my umbilical cord!"

'Don't worry. It's never too hot or never too cold.'

'You call it a bra. I call it excess packaging.'

"You mustn't pull the cat's tail so hard it tugs the head inside, sweetie!"

"The doctor wanted me to let you know that everything is fine, but your c-section didn't go quite as planned. it was more like a 'K' section..."

"It's so nice to finally put a face to the name."

Whoa

Mother Nature

'We found you in a cabbage!'

Fitness Programme for babies

"...for a canal I thought that was unusually short."

"You know what they say, there's one born every minute!"

"What is it? You're not wet or hungry. Mommy's not a mind reader. OK, I am, but I've never been very good at it."

"You got the dolls yesterday? My mom says I took nine months!"

"I said, was... it... a... difficult... birth?"

'The dripping keeps me awake!'

'Cracked nipple? But I didn't even drop you.'

"Underwater Childbirth Ward."

'Don't worry about gaining weight after the baby - you'll run it off during the toddler years.'

"With the baby-cam, there is no privacy."

"I want to have at least two children - I have too much guilt to give for just one."

'Ugh Not Again!'

Why all mothers deserve a special day.

Breastfeeding: Good Design Council

The Mothership

Kids really do make you view the world from a different perspective...I'm on the floor, behind the couch, under the bed...

"The main skill you need in parenting, is the ability to surreptitiously eat chocolate."

'The Fashionable Mamma, or The Convenience of Modern Dress'

Moms gone wild

'All I want for Christmas is my old shape back again.'

"I'm sure he wasn't that big when we went out

'This is a rarity in today's world. No corporate sponsorship signs in here.'

'I think it may be a limited edition.'