New Mom Empathizer Gifts

'What's that? A weaning petition with one signature?'

"I see that he is growing as fast as your law firm."

'I've had some baby sized clubs made.'

'Don't worry. It's never too hot or never too cold.'

'You call it a bra. I call it excess packaging.'

"You mustn't pull the cat's tail so hard it tugs the head inside, sweetie!"

"The doctor wanted me to let you know that everything is fine, but your c-section didn't go quite as planned. it was more like a 'K' section..."

Mother Nature

"It's so nice to finally put a face to the name."

Fitness Programme for babies

'We found you in a cabbage!'

"You know what they say, there's one born every minute!"

"What is it? You're not wet or hungry. Mommy's not a mind reader. OK, I am, but I've never been very good at it."

'The dripping keeps me awake!'

"You got the dolls yesterday? My mom says I took nine months!"

"I said, was... it... a... difficult... birth?"

'Cracked nipple? But I didn't even drop you.'

'Don't worry about gaining weight after the baby - you'll run it off during the toddler years.'

"Underwater Childbirth Ward."

"With the baby-cam, there is no privacy."

"I want to have at least two children - I have too much guilt to give for just one."

'Ugh Not Again!'

'Have a heart, officer... the little mite is starving!'

The Mothership

Kids really do make you view the world from a different perspective...I'm on the floor, behind the couch, under the bed...

Why all mothers deserve a special day.

Breastfeeding: Good Design Council

'The Fashionable Mamma, or The Convenience of Modern Dress'

Moms gone wild

'Oh wonderful! All day I've been waiting for that burp!'

'I think it may be a limited edition.'

"I'm sure he wasn't that big when we went out

'All I want for Christmas is my old shape back again.'