New Mom Empathizer Gifts

'What's that? A weaning petition with one signature?'

"I see that he is growing as fast as your law firm."

'I've had some baby sized clubs made.'

'Don't worry. It's never too hot or never too cold.'

'You call it a bra. I call it excess packaging.'

"You mustn't pull the cat's tail so hard it tugs the head inside, sweetie!"

"The doctor wanted me to let you know that everything is fine, but your c-section didn't go quite as planned. it was more like a 'K' section..."

Mother Nature

"It's so nice to finally put a face to the name."

Whoa

Fitness Programme for babies

'We found you in a cabbage!'

"You know what they say, there's one born every minute!"

"What is it? You're not wet or hungry. Mommy's not a mind reader. OK, I am, but I've never been very good at it."

'The dripping keeps me awake!'

"I said, was... it... a... difficult... birth?"

"You got the dolls yesterday? My mom says I took nine months!"

'Cracked nipple? But I didn't even drop you.'

"I want to have at least two children - I have too much guilt to give for just one."

"Underwater Childbirth Ward."

'Don't worry about gaining weight after the baby - you'll run it off during the toddler years.'

"With the baby-cam, there is no privacy."

'Ugh Not Again!'

Kids really do make you view the world from a different perspective...I'm on the floor, behind the couch, under the bed...

The Mothership

Breastfeeding: Good Design Council

Why all mothers deserve a special day.

'Have a heart, officer... the little mite is starving!'

"The main skill you need in parenting, is the ability to surreptitiously eat chocolate."

Whoa

'The Fashionable Mamma, or The Convenience of Modern Dress'

Moms gone wild

'All I want for Christmas is my old shape back again.'

"I'm sure he wasn't that big when we went out

"If we synchronize our tantrums, they'll have to stop talking. You in?"