New Jersey Navigator Gifts

"So how does that eightfold path get us back on the Garden State?"

'Are you sure that's the right map?'

'The church says the Earth is flat, but I know that it is round for I have seen the shadow on the Moon, and I have more faith in a shadow than in the Church.'

'So you want an advance on your writer's block?'

Books: Novels, Short-Stories, Tall Tales.

"I think I've figured out why we can't find the marina."

'Are we there yet?'

"A journey of a thousand miles begins with a MAP, actually."

"Damn. I took the Rip Van Nyquil."

'AHH, here it is! At the next intersection, turn left, then cough, following that, turn right, then cough...' WHEN DOCTORS NAVIGATE.

"Yes, Jane Lyons, sitting next to Katy Jones, class of 2018, it is important for a writer to know her audience."

"Maybe you should go make sure we're in the right line."

"For just one monkey in front of one typewriter you've come up with some amazing stuff."

"I am not asking for directions."

'He refuses to leave without the tree and their son.'

Well, I finished my summer reading list – now what?

Electronics: Nooks/Crannies

Newspaper suicide.

"Well - I've either bought a pack of table napkins, or adopted a Siberian tiger cub..."

Battery Lighthouse

Titanic: How's my steering.

"It's a jungle out there... and I hear you're an expert."

'I didn't write the book report. I downloaded and printed it directly from the Internet, but I did collate and staple it myself.'

'I'm in the den, mom, reading the newspaper for my social studies class.'

"It's publish or perish, and he hasn't published."

"I'm not spinning - I'm contextualizing."

"Who should we have at eye level this month?"

"Yeah, I have a GPS, but I have no idea where 120 degrees longitude and 80 degrees latitude is."

"For pity's sake, George - stop tooting and ask for directions!"

'I told you not to rely on the sat-nav.'

"Perhaps you wouln't have declared so many places 'worth a detour' if you'd held the map right way up!"

'The landscape is continually shifting Son, so you have to learn to navigate by the Sun and the stars...'

"According to the map, we should be nearing the North Pole, but something tells me we’ve been reading the map upside down."

'Right, I hope that gives you an idea of what the work is about, any questions?'

"According to my phone, society is on the brink of collapse, but, according to our living room, things seem pretty O.K."