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Just Moved In Together.

"Too bad about old Ainsworth. Published and published, but perished all the same."

Thomas Mann.

Nathaniel Hawthorne

"It's a heck of a tale...and well told, but we don't publish resumes."

'To most people, 1984 is just a novel; around here it's our instruction manual.'

'Look! The new long awaited, highly anticipated but ultimately disappointing novel by that guy you like.'

Television Readers.

'You're going to have to make some changes in your lifestyle.'

Silence of the Chickens...

The First Draft. . . Moby Duck.

Characters jumping out of a book.

'Stuck on a desert island, in the middle of the ocean, with only a palm tree for company, it's a bloody joke.'

Sign in book shop window: 'Critics agree the book is much better than the movie.'

Iris Murdoch

'Is that where you keep the banned books?'

"If I Can Make One Critic Smile..."

"There are those who write books to be read and other who write novels for bookshelves."

"Regarding the plot of your novel ... what on earth were you thinking?"

My Literary Influences

"Those are the failed attempts at my first novel."

Filling the Missile Gap

"I'm not angry, but in the future I’d prefer it if you chewed up her Sue Graftons, not my P.G. Wodehouses."

Tolstoy and Dostoevsky plan a collaboration - 'War and Punishment'... it'll make us a bundle.

'Like it? I LOVED it! The narrative gripped me from the first sentence and didn't let go until the final, heart-stopping page! And the CHARACTERS! Without question, Harris, this is the finest year-end financial report you've ever written!'

Editor.

"The first day of school. Yes sir. A day to make new friends. A day to mark new beginnings. A day to discover everyone but you has grown three feet over the summer."

'Is this your first book launch?'

'The only problem is they're glued together. So I can't see the watch...or change the dead calculator batteries, but it's guaranteed for life...'

Voltaire

"Tom's writing has been going really well! He's written over 200,000 words. Now he just needs to work out what order to put them in!"

Library

Little boy reading a classic whilst his Dad reads a comic.