New Chapter Enthusiast Gifts

Just Moved In Together.

"Too bad about old Ainsworth. Published and published, but perished all the same."

Victor Hugo

Thomas Mann.

"It's a heck of a tale...and well told, but we don't publish resumes."

Nathaniel Hawthorne

'To most people, 1984 is just a novel; around here it's our instruction manual.'

Television Readers.

'You're going to have to make some changes in your lifestyle.'

'Look! The new long awaited, highly anticipated but ultimately disappointing novel by that guy you like.'

Silence of the Chickens...

The First Draft. . . Moby Duck.

Characters jumping out of a book.

'Stuck on a desert island, in the middle of the ocean, with only a palm tree for company, it's a bloody joke.'

Iris Murdoch

Sign in book shop window: 'Critics agree the book is much better than the movie.'

'Is that where you keep the banned books?'

"If I Can Make One Critic Smile..."

'It'll never work. I'm reading 'Of Mice And men' and you haven't even gotten through 'If You Give A Mouse A Cookie,.'

"I'm not angry, but in the future I’d prefer it if you chewed up her Sue Graftons, not my P.G. Wodehouses."

"There are those who write books to be read and other who write novels for bookshelves."

My Literary Influences

"Those are the failed attempts at my first novel."

"Regarding the plot of your novel ... what on earth were you thinking?"

Filling the Missile Gap

Tolstoy and Dostoevsky plan a collaboration - 'War and Punishment'... it'll make us a bundle.

'Like it? I LOVED it! The narrative gripped me from the first sentence and didn't let go until the final, heart-stopping page! And the CHARACTERS! Without question, Harris, this is the finest year-end financial report you've ever written!'

Editor.

'How about having at least one character who's alive and wearing clothes?'

"The first day of school. Yes sir. A day to make new friends. A day to mark new beginnings. A day to discover everyone but you has grown three feet over the summer."

'The only problem is they're glued together. So I can't see the watch...or change the dead calculator batteries, but it's guaranteed for life...'

'Is this your first book launch?'

Voltaire

Little boy reading a classic whilst his Dad reads a comic.

Theodore Dreiser.