Novel Enthusiasts Gifts

'Stuck on a desert island, in the middle of the ocean, with only a palm tree for company, it's a bloody joke.'

Jimmy Joe's: Face Masks, Hand Sanitizer, Xanax...

Songs of the humpbacked whale

Books. Fifty Shades of Grey. check Out. I'd like to return "Fifty Shades of Grey." I thought it was a guide to laundry for bachelors.

"Mmm, smell this one."

One word of this ends up as research for your new novel and the divorce papers will be in the post.

'This is a great book. Have you read it?'

"With all due respect, instead of the phrase 'bank robbery,' we request the alleged incident be referred to as an 'Elmore Leonard moment!'"

I should be a writer when I grow up...

Victor Hugo

Nathaniel Hawthorne

Thomas Mann.

'To most people, 1984 is just a novel; around here it's our instruction manual.'

'Look! The new long awaited, highly anticipated but ultimately disappointing novel by that guy you like.'

Television Readers.

'You're going to have to make some changes in your lifestyle.'

Silence of the Chickens...

The First Draft. . . Moby Duck.

Characters jumping out of a book.

Iris Murdoch

Sign in book shop window: 'Critics agree the book is much better than the movie.'

'Is that where you keep the banned books?'

"I did the math. If we want to read all of Proust in this lifetime, we have to start tomorrow morning."

Dickens & Tolstoy Walk into a Bar: " . . . so, to make a short story long . . . "

"If I Can Make One Critic Smile..."

'He was a great writer'

"There are those who write books to be read and other who write novels for bookshelves."

My Literary Influences

"I'm not angry, but in the future I’d prefer it if you chewed up her Sue Graftons, not my P.G. Wodehouses."

'It'll never work. I'm reading 'Of Mice And men' and you haven't even gotten through 'If You Give A Mouse A Cookie,.'

"Those are the failed attempts at my first novel."

"Regarding the plot of your novel ... what on earth were you thinking?"

Tolstoy and Dostoevsky plan a collaboration - 'War and Punishment'... it'll make us a bundle.

Editor.

'Look mum and dad! They let me keep my appendix!' - A young book excitedly showing off his appendix to his arriving parents.