Novelty Novel Enthusiast Gifts

"Be careful with your third wish. Another book you might already have read would be a bummer."

I should be a writer when I grow up...

Thomas Mann.

Victor Hugo

Nathaniel Hawthorne

'To most people, 1984 is just a novel; around here it's our instruction manual.'

Television Readers.

'Look! The new long awaited, highly anticipated but ultimately disappointing novel by that guy you like.'

'You're going to have to make some changes in your lifestyle.'

Woman blowing dust off book 'Desert Romance'

"Your hunch was right, Officer Garcia. We'll need a good editor to clean up this manuscript and bring his unfinished novel to a satisfying conclusion."

Silence of the Chickens...

The First Draft. . . Moby Duck.

Characters jumping out of a book.

'Stuck on a desert island, in the middle of the ocean, with only a palm tree for company, it's a bloody joke.'

Dickens & Tolstoy Walk into a Bar: " . . . so, to make a short story long . . . "

Trilby - 'The old studio'.

'Is that where you keep the banned books?'

Sign in book shop window: 'Critics agree the book is much better than the movie.'

Iris Murdoch

"If I Can Make One Critic Smile..."

'It'll never work. I'm reading 'Of Mice And men' and you haven't even gotten through 'If You Give A Mouse A Cookie,.'

"There are those who write books to be read and other who write novels for bookshelves."

Bathroom Fairy

"Those are the failed attempts at my first novel."

"I'm not angry, but in the future I’d prefer it if you chewed up her Sue Graftons, not my P.G. Wodehouses."

My Literary Influences

"Regarding the plot of your novel ... what on earth were you thinking?"

Tolstoy and Dostoevsky plan a collaboration - 'War and Punishment'... it'll make us a bundle.

Editor.

'The New... New, Swiss Army Knife.'

'Is this your first book launch?'

'The only problem is they're glued together. So I can't see the watch...or change the dead calculator batteries, but it's guaranteed for life...'

'How about having at least one character who's alive and wearing clothes?'

Voltaire