Neurosurgeons Gifts

"I was going to sue the neurosurgeon, but then he changed my mind."

In the future, human thought will enter an age of clarity and purity never before dreamed of.

'Honey, I wish you wouldn't bring your work home with you!'

Heart surgeon tastooing patients heart with "Love".

"If you don't want stitches, that's fine. Suture self."

'OK, the old one's in my right hand, the donor's in my left. Rght?'

'Is there another doctor in the house? He wants a second opinion.'

"I've done this procedure so often I could do it in my sleep. But that's only happened twice – that I'll admit to."

Ice Cream Surgeon

The Map of the human brain

Doctor describes inside guts while patient has black thoughts.

"Until the plaster sets, try not to laugh."

"The prostate biopsy shows your pain threshold is much higher than normal."

"And I want you to meet Coco, your anesthesiologist."

"I'm afraid we'll have to operate. Your appendix has an infection and it's extremely aggressive."

PSA Banter.

Doctor pulling golf caddy sees patient pulling oxygen caddy.

Surgeon finds a doohickey on the patient's thingamabob.

Swiss army hospital...'scalpel...'

"The tests confirms you have short-term memory loss."

'My mom's the greatest surgeon this side of Mayo brothers.'

Haute Suture

Doris K. Elston: Brain Surgeon, Professional Model, Artist, Lawyer....Plus Mother of Four.

'But they told me to take her down to theatre...'

'ooh! A womb with a view.'

'Maybe it is psychosomatic.'

"That's an awfully large small intestine and an awfully small large intestine."

There's no such thing as a triple carburetor bypass!

"Surgery up here is free!"

Robodoc... the NHS surgeon of the future.

"She fell down stairs again, so this is her third hip."

"In case something happens during the surgery and you become incapacitated, have you designated someone to make poor life choices on your behalf?"

The operation was going extremely well, but then very unexpectedly, he got trampled.

Inside One's Memory Bank