Neuro-surgeon Gifts

Lost my job as a neuro-surgeon because of bad eyes. Please help.

In the future, human thought will enter an age of clarity and purity never before dreamed of.

'Honey, I wish you wouldn't bring your work home with you!'

Heart surgeon tastooing patients heart with "Love".

"If you don't want stitches, that's fine. Suture self."

'OK, the old one's in my right hand, the donor's in my left. Rght?'

"I've done this procedure so often I could do it in my sleep. But that's only happened twice – that I'll admit to."

'Is there another doctor in the house? He wants a second opinion.'

Ice Cream Surgeon

Doctor describes inside guts while patient has black thoughts.

The Map of the human brain

"I'm afraid we'll have to operate. Your appendix has an infection and it's extremely aggressive."

"And I want you to meet Coco, your anesthesiologist."

Someone who knows apostrophes

Doctor pulling golf caddy sees patient pulling oxygen caddy.

Surgeon finds a doohickey on the patient's thingamabob.

Swiss army hospital...'scalpel...'

"The tests confirms you have short-term memory loss."

Haute Suture

'My mom's the greatest surgeon this side of Mayo brothers.'

Doris K. Elston: Brain Surgeon, Professional Model, Artist, Lawyer....Plus Mother of Four.

'ooh! A womb with a view.'

'But they told me to take her down to theatre...'

'Maybe it is psychosomatic.'

Young Dr. Dolittle.

"That's an awfully large small intestine and an awfully small large intestine."

There's no such thing as a triple carburetor bypass!

"Surgery up here is free!"

Robodoc... the NHS surgeon of the future.

The operation was going extremely well, but then very unexpectedly, he got trampled.

"In case something happens during the surgery and you become incapacitated, have you designated someone to make poor life choices on your behalf?"

Why can't you just chew the squeaker out like normal dogs?

Inside One's Memory Bank

'See? The idiots put my danged knee replacement in backward!'

"Yeah, I know. bu tthe administration didn't want to appear culturally insensitive."