Neurosurgery Gifts

'I see a hairline fracture, some misconceptions and lots of useless information.'

Head Mechanic.

Hospital porter leaving brain behind

Doctor finds a man with an empty head.

In the future, human thought will enter an age of clarity and purity never before dreamed of.

'Honey, I wish you wouldn't bring your work home with you!'

Heart surgeon tastooing patients heart with "Love".

"If you don't want stitches, that's fine. Suture self."

'OK, the old one's in my right hand, the donor's in my left. Rght?'

'Is there another doctor in the house? He wants a second opinion.'

"I've done this procedure so often I could do it in my sleep. But that's only happened twice – that I'll admit to."

Doctor describes inside guts while patient has black thoughts.

Ice Cream Surgeon

The Map of the human brain

"And I want you to meet Coco, your anesthesiologist."

"I'm afraid we'll have to operate. Your appendix has an infection and it's extremely aggressive."

Summer 2000: Children stumble upon the remains of Linda Tripp's old head.

Someone who knows apostrophes

Doctor pulling golf caddy sees patient pulling oxygen caddy.

Swiss army hospital...'scalpel...'

Surgeon finds a doohickey on the patient's thingamabob.

'My mom's the greatest surgeon this side of Mayo brothers.'

"The tests confirms you have short-term memory loss."

Haute Suture

Doris K. Elston: Brain Surgeon, Professional Model, Artist, Lawyer....Plus Mother of Four.

'But they told me to take her down to theatre...'

'ooh! A womb with a view.'

'Maybe it is psychosomatic.'

"That's an awfully large small intestine and an awfully small large intestine."

There's no such thing as a triple carburetor bypass!

"Surgery up here is free!"

Robodoc... the NHS surgeon of the future.

"In case something happens during the surgery and you become incapacitated, have you designated someone to make poor life choices on your behalf?"

The operation was going extremely well, but then very unexpectedly, he got trampled.

Inside One's Memory Bank