Networking Wizards Gifts

"The good news is that I remember you from high school. Unfortunately, that's also the bad news."

'Very impressive educational background...now let's discuss WHO you know.!

"He's taught himself work-life balance."

'Being the boss's yes-man used to be easier. Now you also have to 'like' him on facebook, follow him on Twitter, link with him on linked-in...'

Olivia just hacked into the boy scouts' site and sold them 30,000 boxes of cookies.

Go team!

'Can our software do that?'

"Where's the business end of this thing?"

'Anything you can compute I can compute better. I can compute anything better than you.'

'You don't have to explain the software to me. I wrote it while I was in the womb.'

"I don't believe I've missed a single sign since you made the switch to Power Point."

"Anna - there's someone I'd like to meet."

#Whyneighborsdon'tknowtheirneighbors

'Help! I'm wired and I can't get up!'

'Calling Tech Support does NOT count as one of my wishes!'

"Mum! - T.S. Eliot - 'Humankind cannot bear much reality'."

"Whoever made Keir Starmer did a sound professional job."

'I bought him to retrieve my e-mails.'

"Sorry, but I don't know how to tie a Reef Knot. Give me a simple project, like building a computer."

Trade Show Sherpas

"I was going to have my people call his people, but I’m pretty sure his people have Caller I.D."

"Yes, social media's a great way to express your opinions - shame you feel 'ignored and unappreciated by an aloof, faceless boss' - but that's because I haven't a clue who you are or what you do around here!"

If Disney was a software company

"I'm trying to create a hologram of myself. If I'm successful, I'll never have to attend school, go to the dentist or go anywhere else that's boring again."

"I accidentally hit 3 keys and then hit enter. CTRL + Z didn't get rid of it. Can we keep it as a pet?"

'Yep,that's it Mr.White. And NOW go, Control-Alt-Delete, then re-enter.'

Man doing a search on a computer

"I don't think the guy with the business-card cannon has ever been to an actual networking event,"

"Remember, if I can't introduce you it's because I can't remember their name - so that's when you step in and introudce yourself so we can get them to say it, okay?" - Company Party Prep.

'I don't understand. You've wasted the whole interview going on and on about what you know... I think you'd better start telling me who you know.'

'Impressive resume, We'll verify it through Facebook, Twitter and Tumblr and get back to you,'

Salesman I-Pad Business Card

'Remember, Henson; we're not here to hobnob - we're here to schmooze.'

Why do you need so many computers?

'It's all done with computer animation now.'