Networking Wizards Pillows

"The good news is that I remember you from high school. Unfortunately, that's also the bad news."

'Very impressive educational background...now let's discuss WHO you know.!

"He's taught himself work-life balance."

Go team!

'Can our software do that?'

"Where's the business end of this thing?"

'You don't have to explain the software to me. I wrote it while I was in the womb.'

'Anything you can compute I can compute better. I can compute anything better than you.'

"Anna - there's someone I'd like to meet."

#Whyneighborsdon'tknowtheirneighbors

'Help! I'm wired and I can't get up!'

'Calling Tech Support does NOT count as one of my wishes!'

"Whoever made Keir Starmer did a sound professional job."

"Mum! - T.S. Eliot - 'Humankind cannot bear much reality'."

'I bought him to retrieve my e-mails.'

"Yes, social media's a great way to express your opinions - shame you feel 'ignored and unappreciated by an aloof, faceless boss' - but that's because I haven't a clue who you are or what you do around here!"

'Yep,that's it Mr.White. And NOW go, Control-Alt-Delete, then re-enter.'

Trade Show Sherpas

"I'm trying to create a hologram of myself. If I'm successful, I'll never have to attend school, go to the dentist or go anywhere else that's boring again."

Man doing a search on a computer

"I accidentally hit 3 keys and then hit enter. CTRL + Z didn't get rid of it. Can we keep it as a pet?"

"I was going to have my people call his people, but I’m pretty sure his people have Caller I.D."

"Sorry, but I don't know how to tie a Reef Knot. Give me a simple project, like building a computer."

"I don't think the guy with the business-card cannon has ever been to an actual networking event,"

"Remember, if I can't introduce you it's because I can't remember their name - so that's when you step in and introudce yourself so we can get them to say it, okay?" - Company Party Prep.

'I don't understand. You've wasted the whole interview going on and on about what you know... I think you'd better start telling me who you know.'

Why do you need so many computers?

'Remember, Henson; we're not here to hobnob - we're here to schmooze.'

'The ten commandments have all been reduced to tweets.'

Acme-5000 Lie Detector