Internet Wizard Pillows

'I don't have a resume. I f you need information, just Google me!'

'You've got Chain Mail!'

"My data is bigger than your data."

"Try 'Open underscore sesame.' "

Spells. I love Wiccanpedia!

'At least let me clear out my browser history before I go.'

"This shouldn't take long now that I'm on broadband."

'I figured out how to download a bike off the Internet. But, I think I had the resolution set too low.'

"I'm guessing with all that mold coming out of your computer, it's been awhile since you've added fresh content to your site."

Strong Passwords

Pounding speeds up the computer.

"He's taught himself work-life balance."

Olivia just hacked into the boy scouts' site and sold them 30,000 boxes of cookies.

'Can our software do that?'

"Where's the business end of this thing?"

'You don't have to explain the software to me. I wrote it while I was in the womb.'

'Anything you can compute I can compute better. I can compute anything better than you.'

'You'll have to take an online company aptitude test, but if you're the designer we're looking for, you've already designed an app for that.'

"I don't believe I've missed a single sign since you made the switch to Power Point."

#Whyneighborsdon'tknowtheirneighbors

'Help! I'm wired and I can't get up!'

"Why do you need so many computers?" "One for billing, one for stock control, one for human resources, one for financial management..."

'Calling Tech Support does NOT count as one of my wishes!'

"Whoever made Keir Starmer did a sound professional job."

"Mum! - T.S. Eliot - 'Humankind cannot bear much reality'."

WiFi Signals

The Proust of Twitter

'I bought him to retrieve my e-mails.'

"Sorry, but I don't know how to tie a Reef Knot. Give me a simple project, like building a computer."

If Disney was a software company

Man doing a search on a computer

"I accidentally hit 3 keys and then hit enter. CTRL + Z didn't get rid of it. Can we keep it as a pet?"

'Yep,that's it Mr.White. And NOW go, Control-Alt-Delete, then re-enter.'

"I'm trying to create a hologram of myself. If I'm successful, I'll never have to attend school, go to the dentist or go anywhere else that's boring again."

'I have a homepage, therefore I am.'