Networking Nerd Gifts

"You'll soon get the hang of the simple Linex 3968X with 4936.." Norman began to think he might be better suited to a career in double glazing."

"Get names!"

'Hey, thanks for coming out. I just want to consult you on the setup of my LAN.'

'Suppose the President of the United States calls? -- if you're going to stick with dial-up, you should at least get a separate phone line.'

'If we ever get out of here we should exchange business cards.'

'The wheel was great, but what have you done for me lately?'

The Computer Bore

'Very impressive educational background...now let's discuss WHO you know.!

Go team!

'Being the boss's yes-man used to be easier. Now you also have to 'like' him on facebook, follow him on Twitter, link with him on linked-in...'

Good Luck!

"They want to put up a new cell tower in our neighbourhood?! We don't need more of those radio emission eyesores here! I'm gonna complain... ...as soon as I have better signal strength."

WiFi Signals

"The low-res JPEG of Dorian Gray"

Obsession with the Internet.

"Your MBA and PHD are impressive but what concerns me is your low number of Facebook friends."

Trade Show Sherpas

"I don't think the guy with the business-card cannon has ever been to an actual networking event,"

'Impressive resume, We'll verify it through Facebook, Twitter and Tumblr and get back to you,'

'Remember, Henson; we're not here to hobnob - we're here to schmooze.'

"Thank God! Someone to network with!"

"I'm being heavily recruited by several other companies."

"New studies show that the so-called 'lucky man' made popular by the prog-rock band Emerson, Lake and Palmer was, in fact, just very well-connected."

Robot Grabber Arcade Game Machine

I work for a not for profit business. Mind you, two years ago it was a 'for profit' business.

"Phil's an expert networker. One drink and he's on schmooze-control."

The Card Flinger

'All right, I wanna know which one of you really like me and which ones are just networking...'

'An application won't be necessary, Sir. . . if you did it, we know about it.'

"Sorry it's late. I got caught in Spring migration."

"Oh, go on Jeffrey. . . Give him an order!"

"Sinclair's not all he's cracked up to be. His reputation exceeds him."

At the printers - "Business is booming I need 6 more business cards, ASAP."

Over enthusiastic headhunter

'I didn't have a glass ceiling I had to break through... I had a golf course I had to conquer.'