Netting Nerd Gifts

Mr Briggs's Pleasures of Fishing.

The Computer Bore

He is familiar with the silent swoop of the evening bat.

"They want to put up a new cell tower in our neighbourhood?! We don't need more of those radio emission eyesores here! I'm gonna complain... ...as soon as I have better signal strength."

Obsession with the Internet.

WiFi Signals

"The low-res JPEG of Dorian Gray"

"Your MBA and PHD are impressive but what concerns me is your low number of Facebook friends."

'I can't figure out why I keep getting wind knots.'

"Thank God! Someone to network with!"

Robot Grabber Arcade Game Machine

"I'm being heavily recruited by several other companies."

I work for a not for profit business. Mind you, two years ago it was a 'for profit' business.

"Phil's an expert networker. One drink and he's on schmooze-control."

'I didn't have a glass ceiling I had to break through... I had a golf course I had to conquer.'

"I may have been the runt of the litter, but online I'm the alpha dog."

And elevator with 'up', 'down', and 'pitches' buttons

"After finally discovering that we exist, you would think you would have something more important to ask than if we had Roku."

"I don't know who will be obsolete first, me or my computer."

"You knew I was high maintenance when we met."

Cell phones seem as if they are designed for a T-Rex!

"Tom, let's explore why you feel Andrea's inability to understand 'icing the puck' is passive-aggressive."

'You can social network me behind my ears if you like.'

Primordial Schmooze

We've Placed These Cookies Here To Learn More About You.

'So, summing up: we 'like' you and you 'like' us.'

"I see you had the foresight to like us on facebook."

'look at my new business cards! The old ones weren't big enough for all my information.'

'Do you know where your phone charger is? . . . I know where mine is.'

"And the tech guy said not to worry if I lost my phone. There's an app for that..."

Goal

Media Darling.

Now hiring. You seem very motivated. It's my internal drive!

"Come left to course zero two five - whoa - use your turn signal."

"He's networking again!"