Net Etiquette Expert Gifts

"So I sold him six with a 23% profit margin, so what do you think of that!"

“Someone is not muted. I'm still hearing ambient noise. Please mute your device.”

"Remember, I want to hear fifteen solid minutes of small talk before you ask for the Wi-Fi password."

"Is there someone have called Frobisher?"

That's a good question, Ossie... may I call you 'Ossie', Ossie?

"I don't mind getting email from you, Stevens. But don't ever send me another smiley-face emoji."

"My son, using 'Reply All' is not a sin."

"I'm not repeating the specials again until everyone puts down their phones."

Sunday Sermon: Let he who has not sinned cast the first blog.

"This tone means the battery is low. This one means you've just driven over a pedestrian. And this one indicates that someone sitting near you in a coffee shop is about to grab your phone and stuff it down your throat!"

Business relationships are tricky. While a handshake may not always seem enough, a hug is always too much.

"This circle of hell is for those who always hit Reply to All."

First Church: Sunday's Topic - Thou Shalt Not Blog Against Thy Neighbour.'

"Having received your offer of friendship, and after due consideration and given the fact that I don't know you from a bar of soap, I must inform you that I will be declining your request."

A tombstone reads: please note, I will no longer be answering emails. If this is urgent contact Cliff or Rhoda.

"That time you realized your hashtags were longer than your message. #irony #wow #epiphany #wakeupCall #lesson #stopthat #omg #thwarted #notgood #somethingsWrongHere #spiritual-awakening #myword #ohlawdy #wthigh #seriously? #wontSome-bodyThink-of-The-Children?" "ERROR: You have exceeded the number of characters allowed." "That time you. #irony #wow #epiphany #wakeupCall #lesson #stopthat #omg #thwarted #notgood #somethings-WrongHere #spiritualawakening #myword #ohlawdy #wthigh #seriously? #

"Before you go through the gates of heaven think back to the early days of the internet. Did you ever visit or post anything homophobic, racist or sexist? Tell me now or I will find out."

'Twitter or tweet-free?'

Thank you for not using the office internet line as a singles' pick-up service.

Tweet Others As You Would Have Them Tweet You.

"That was a typo. I need you to form a special task group."

'I'm not being bullied...it's from my boss.'

"He just called without texting first. How can he be 23 and still not know how a phone works?"

"Stop hitting 'Reply All.'"

Procedure - A Fact.

A recent study found frequent use of cell phones can present a serious health risk to the incredibly inconsiderate.

'I put the king on hold while taking someone else's cellphone call.'

"I need to take this call outside."

Mad Cow Revolution

Cult of Informality

'Dude, you can't tweet condolences! That demands the gravitas of an email.'

Cat informs owner someone unfollowed her on social media.