Digital Etiquette Buff Gifts

"Stop interrupting! I'm trying to have a conversation with someone."

"Remember, I want to hear fifteen solid minutes of small talk before you ask for the Wi-Fi password."

"Hey, it's me. I just sent you a text message responding to your e-mail saying that I should IM you."

That's a good question, Ossie... may I call you 'Ossie', Ossie?

"So I sold him six with a 23% profit margin, so what do you think of that!"

'It was embarrassing. While I was taking up their cell phones, my cell phone rang.'

"I'm not repeating the specials again until everyone puts down their phones."

This problem began in the 1950's...

"This tone means the battery is low. This one means you've just driven over a pedestrian. And this one indicates that someone sitting near you in a coffee shop is about to grab your phone and stuff it down your throat!"

"This circle of hell is for those who always hit Reply to All."

First Church: Sunday's Topic - Thou Shalt Not Blog Against Thy Neighbour.'

'I told you never to Facebook, Bebo, Hotmail, Yahoo, MSN or phone me at work...'

Would it be rude if I didn't follow them all back?

"That time you realized your hashtags were longer than your message. #irony #wow #epiphany #wakeupCall #lesson #stopthat #omg #thwarted #notgood #somethingsWrongHere #spiritual-awakening #myword #ohlawdy #wthigh #seriously? #wontSome-bodyThink-of-The-Children?" "ERROR: You have exceeded the number of characters allowed." "That time you. #irony #wow #epiphany #wakeupCall #lesson #stopthat #omg #thwarted #notgood #somethings-WrongHere #spiritualawakening #myword #ohlawdy #wthigh #seriously? #

"Ignoring LinkedIn requests is the new 'get lost'."

"Before you go through the gates of heaven think back to the early days of the internet. Did you ever visit or post anything homophobic, racist or sexist? Tell me now or I will find out."

"And remember, the phone goes to the left of the entree fork."

Modern methods of reading over someone's shoulder.

His text said, I challenge you to pistols at dawn, and I replied, C U there, and he replied with a thumbs-up emoji – Do I have to reply to that?

"OK, gotta go...hey, why is everyone at my table singing the Hallelujah chorus?"

'Twitter or tweet-free?'

Tweet Others As You Would Have Them Tweet You.

Online vs. Offline Behaviour

"Stop hitting 'Reply All.'"

"So what do we do when we can't say anything nice about someone?"

"He just called without texting first. How can he be 23 and still not know how a phone works?"

'Will that be the constantly looking down at smart phones section or family that talks to each other section?'

A recent study found frequent use of cell phones can present a serious health risk to the incredibly inconsiderate.

Cat informs owner someone unfollowed her on social media.

'Can I call you back? I've got a dinner to go to.'

"I know you're new here, but the next time you send the boss a text, don't start it with 'OMG'!"

Queen at computer screen searching friends re: you knighted site.'

Mobile Bans

The need to be careful on social media.

"I'll be right with you but I have to take this call first."