Tech Etiquette Advocate Gifts

A recent study found frequent use of cell phones can present a serious health risk to the incredibly inconsiderate.

"Remember, I want to hear fifteen solid minutes of small talk before you ask for the Wi-Fi password."

Office computer: 'Thank you for not using me for personal business.'

"So I sold him six with a 23% profit margin, so what do you think of that!"

'I realize this is your first sales call, young man, but 15 minutes is way too long to shake hands.'

"Hey, it's me. I just sent you a text message responding to your e-mail saying that I should IM you."

"I'm not repeating the specials again until everyone puts down their phones."

"This tone means the battery is low. This one means you've just driven over a pedestrian. And this one indicates that someone sitting near you in a coffee shop is about to grab your phone and stuff it down your throat!"

This problem began in the 1950's...

"Donald, you’re in the C-suite now. No more smiley faces or exclamation points."

"This circle of hell is for those who always hit Reply to All."

"Can I help you?"

First Church: Sunday's Topic - Thou Shalt Not Blog Against Thy Neighbour.'

I will not peek at my phone during parent-teacher conference....

"I didn't mind the panel interview, but I got creeped out by the group hug at the end."

'Hah, he bowed lower than I did.'

How Dogs Identify Themselves in Upscale Neighborhoods.

'I told you never to Facebook, Bebo, Hotmail, Yahoo, MSN or phone me at work...'

"Ignoring LinkedIn requests is the new 'get lost'."

"That time you realized your hashtags were longer than your message. #irony #wow #epiphany #wakeupCall #lesson #stopthat #omg #thwarted #notgood #somethingsWrongHere #spiritual-awakening #myword #ohlawdy #wthigh #seriously? #wontSome-bodyThink-of-The-Children?" "ERROR: You have exceeded the number of characters allowed." "That time you. #irony #wow #epiphany #wakeupCall #lesson #stopthat #omg #thwarted #notgood #somethings-WrongHere #spiritualawakening #myword #ohlawdy #wthigh #seriously? #

Would it be rude if I didn't follow them all back?

"Before you go through the gates of heaven think back to the early days of the internet. Did you ever visit or post anything homophobic, racist or sexist? Tell me now or I will find out."

"He came out from behind his desk. We got 'em."

Did you take the last cup and not make another pot?

'Twitter or tweet-free?'

'Should have shook hands...' - 'Should have bowed...' - 'Should have read the keynote...'

Online vs. Offline Behaviour

Tweet Others As You Would Have Them Tweet You.

'I'm not being bullied...it's from my boss.'

'Put away that damned smartphone!'

"So what do we do when we can't say anything nice about someone?"

Tuesday Afternoon at the Osaka No-Tell Motel

'Will that be the constantly looking down at smart phones section or family that talks to each other section?'

"Stop hitting 'Reply All.'"

"He just called without texting first. How can he be 23 and still not know how a phone works?"