Tech Etiquette Advocate Prints

A recent study found frequent use of cell phones can present a serious health risk to the incredibly inconsiderate.

"Remember, I want to hear fifteen solid minutes of small talk before you ask for the Wi-Fi password."

Office computer: 'Thank you for not using me for personal business.'

"So I sold him six with a 23% profit margin, so what do you think of that!"

"Hey, it's me. I just sent you a text message responding to your e-mail saying that I should IM you."

'I realize this is your first sales call, young man, but 15 minutes is way too long to shake hands.'

"I'm not repeating the specials again until everyone puts down their phones."

"This tone means the battery is low. This one means you've just driven over a pedestrian. And this one indicates that someone sitting near you in a coffee shop is about to grab your phone and stuff it down your throat!"

"Donald, you’re in the C-suite now. No more smiley faces or exclamation points."

"This circle of hell is for those who always hit Reply to All."

"Can I help you?"

"I didn't mind the panel interview, but I got creeped out by the group hug at the end."

First Church: Sunday's Topic - Thou Shalt Not Blog Against Thy Neighbour.'

I will not peek at my phone during parent-teacher conference....

'Hah, he bowed lower than I did.'

"He came out from behind his desk. We got 'em."

"That time you realized your hashtags were longer than your message. #irony #wow #epiphany #wakeupCall #lesson #stopthat #omg #thwarted #notgood #somethingsWrongHere #spiritual-awakening #myword #ohlawdy #wthigh #seriously? #wontSome-bodyThink-of-The-Children?" "ERROR: You have exceeded the number of characters allowed." "That time you. #irony #wow #epiphany #wakeupCall #lesson #stopthat #omg #thwarted #notgood #somethings-WrongHere #spiritualawakening #myword #ohlawdy #wthigh #seriously? #

"Before you go through the gates of heaven think back to the early days of the internet. Did you ever visit or post anything homophobic, racist or sexist? Tell me now or I will find out."

Did you take the last cup and not make another pot?

'Twitter or tweet-free?'

'Should have shook hands...' - 'Should have bowed...' - 'Should have read the keynote...'

Tweet Others As You Would Have Them Tweet You.

'I'm not being bullied...it's from my boss.'

'Put away that damned smartphone!'

"Stop hitting 'Reply All.'"

"He just called without texting first. How can he be 23 and still not know how a phone works?"

"So what do we do when we can't say anything nice about someone?"

'Will that be the constantly looking down at smart phones section or family that talks to each other section?'

Tuesday Afternoon at the Osaka No-Tell Motel

"Stop interrupting! I'm trying to have a conversation with someone."