Nervous Dater Pillows

"Now remember, if I jump out the window, I want to leave."

'Bob smiled awkwardly'

Speed Dating for Turtles

On my list of outdoor pursuits I put skinny dipping way ahead of this.

Sexual chemistry set

'Single math professor in search of an intelligent woman. Send an example of your favorite equation.'

"I've been out of the dating scene a long time. Is kissing still a thing?"

"How sweet, your hand is trembling."

'Next, time, we'll meet at my place.'

In Desperate Straits.

'Eloise! Come back! I was just going to show you some of the equipment we use in veterinary school...'

Waterfall of Disappointment

'He's narrating it, I just know it.'

"She says you sound like 'fun'!"

'Would you like to come in for a rejection?'

"Your profile didn't mention you being a chewer."

"I'm not very good at sex, but what do you say to eight hours uproarious sleep?"

"Don't worry, I'm a doctor."

"I guess your reputation for tipping has preceded you!"

"Tell your date you're a vegetarian before he orders that expensive gourmet dinner."

"You can come in. But don't try anything funny."

Here's one for you... she likes long lurches in the moonlight, scared of fire... enjoys terrorizing villages...

We've been dating for about 30 minutes, so things are still going well. Please send over the waiter immediately, before everything goes down the toilet. Menu.

"I like anything but long walks on the beach."

Spud dating.

'Romance-minded clown in hot pursuit of woman'

'When it comes to romance, Sherlock doesn't have a clue!'

"Oh, for butter curls on ice!"

Sorry, I don't play footsie on the first date. Neither do I. I guess that leaves rats.

'Single Heating and Cooling technician in search of intelligent, attractive woman. Send picture of your furnace & AC.'

'What happens when your little sister misses her toy money?'

"If it's all the same to you, Kevin, I'd like to continue observing the six-foot-rule."

"So this is what we call a 'red flag'..."

"Some people think accountants are just boring number crunchers but statistics show that 43% of 456 people covering 56% of the total demographic were 67% sure that we're really a lot of fun!"

Nethead strip: Dates